Denial

I think it is part of human nature to try and condemn COVID as some sort of made-up, corporate strategy, or something that was blown out of proportion. I see people in real life who spread these rumors, but in their heart of hearts are scared shit-less. It’s interesting to see people behave this way. I also think there are a lot of people who simply cannot come to terms with the idea of it being a virus that developed naturally, as a result of deforestation, and unhygienic practices. Why? Because it is a simple logical conclusion?

Then again, that’s my opinion, lol.

Looks

I just ate a whole bag of donuts. I did it to myself. No complaints. Only regrets.

Think about the people who get hair implants. In your heart of hearts, do you judge them? I have no shame in admitting I used to. We all have that one uncle who showed upto to family get-togethers wearing a horrendous headpiece. And then one of them little kids yanks at it, and then we all pretend as if we did not witness a travesty that is a bald man’s head. Haven’t you ever felt like telling them , “give up. The battle is lost”?. Yet why do they so desperately cling on to a piece of dead protein?

It’s all about presentation. That’s the way the world works. It’s the same reason why people wear cologne and prefer showing more skin. We live in a judgemental world. I do it. You do it. Everybody does it.

If a piece of clothing or hair gives you confidence to conquer your dreams, I will not make fun of you no more my friend.

Societal pressure

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I just wanted to see how many people will hit the “like” button just because this post has a fancy title. This is not a social experiment. This is sheer boredom. Nothing good will come out of this. Hail Deadpool. Have a great day.

Need somebody to lean on? Are you sure?

I’m a fan of the song. But is it true that 

Everybody needs somebody?

Everybody needs something?

Maybe I’m inexplicably naive. But as human beings, I think we are evolving to be more independent and efficient in every way possible. Whenever I feel down, and feel like I need companionship, I do this little trick where I look up to myself! (lame, I know). I ask myself for advice, and guess what? It works! Especially when I’m drunk. You know why? Because deep inside, I know that I am the only person in the whole world who can help me. I know how relationships, religion, that sort of thing, seem magical. Do you think, in the far-away future, people will still cling on to these?

Or, is all of this just nonsense spewing from a super-introverted, super-single, super-happy human being? My mom called the other day and talked a lot about how she thinks I’ve changed. The words, ‘distant’, ‘strange’ and ‘family’ were used repeatedly. She’s funny. I like her.

PS:

I just remembered my dog. Everything makes sense now. Dammit.

 

Local adventures

Two years have gone by since I moved to Kolkata. Life’s been great so far. However, whenever I get too happy my phone does a good job of reminding me that I have zero friends outside of work. So I did what anyone else would do in these situations. Drum roll… ta da! I turned to religion.

Last Sunday morning I decided to go to church. Thought I would go see what our friendly church-goers are up to. I was expecting to see a lot of the “lets all stare at the new guy to make him super uncomfortable” routine. To my surprise, no one gave a shit and it felt great. That was until halfway through mass. I noticed a lady wearing cargo shorts staring at me. She looked at me and smiled. Then I did the unthinkable. I looked right back at her and without any hesitation gave her a super wide smile. There were no negative thoughts like “Is she super religious? Should I go talk to her? Will she kill me after mass?”. All that was going on in my mind was,” Fuck yes! I did it! Finally accepted by society. That’s all that matters. It’s all uphill from here”.

I was walking back home when I was stopped by (you guessed it) lady in the cargo shorts. After an initial “Hi I saw you at church” introduction, began a questioning spree “Where are you from? You don’t look like you’re from here. Where do you stay? Do you like it here? Do you have some cash on you?”.

Why do you mock me universe? Why?

Hiding

Do you know what it feels like to sit at home all alone while the rest of the world is outside having fun? It feels surprisingly good! I should do this more often. Only problem is that I have begun to talk to the computer. Not to Cortana or Siri. Just to the screen. 

I should stop using overly dramatic post titles.

Man is a social animal? Really? Nah!

I am now at a point in my life where I have completely lost the ability to socialize. Yes, its 100% gone. I did it! Woo hoo! Feels great. I feel like I deserve a medal or something. Or a hug. I prefer the hug over the medal actually.

I tried. I gave it my best. How can you conquer something that deep down you know you don’t want? I have begun to really really like not talking to people. I am very happy by myself. Ha ha. But it worries me because I know that’s not good.