family

The dead cousin prayer

Holy fuck, it’s been 5 years. Your cute little daughters are taller now. One of them looks just like your mom. The elder one is doing unbelievably well in school. Can you believe this shit? Your daughter! Getting straight A’s! In what world did you imagine your offspring doing well in school? Lol. She’s making everyone proud. She reminds me so much of you. It’s like a clone, but smarter! Your sister on the other hand, doesn’t talk to me anymore, so that balances out the familial relations. I really really wish you were here 😦 Oh! and happy birthday.

My Christmas message

It is that time of the year where I start to feel human again. I start to feel love for other human beings. I close my eyes, and I see people smiling. Big, old, young, small, everyone’s smiling, even the awful ones. It is time to set aside differences, and do something nice. I wish everyone happiness.

We never ate together

So Jim Gaffigan live-streams him eating dinner with his family on YouTube, and I can’t stop watching it. Is it a waste of time? Yes. Am I a creep? Probably. There is some weird joy that I derive out of watching an unknown family eat dinner while talking about their day-to-day. Plus, they donate all the money they make from the livestream to Covid relief.

I never ate dinner with my family. We would all run to our corners of the house. Less family-time was more me-time. That was until dad died. Then things changed a little. There seemed to be an invisible glue holding us together while we ate. It might not be at the dining table. It might be in front of a television, watching some stupid shit, but we held on, because now we know what loss feels like. An empty space at the table is always uncomfortable. People don’t talk about it, but it’s at the back of everyone’s mind.

Moral of the story:

Fucking eat dinner with your fucking family (to all the teenagers out there). If you’re over 25, get the fuck out of the house for God’s sake. It’s embarrassing.

I’m going home for Christmas

I almost had to take a loan to get the tickets, but it’s happening. Curiosity will fly over the City of Joy, and land safely in the Queen of the Arabian Sea (that doesn’t sound dirty at all) just in time for Christmas (not that I give a fuck). It’s going to be a lot of fun with the family, and their family, and their family, will make me miss my bachelor pad in no time.  Jokes aside, I miss my folks, and I am excited. Keeping the holiday spirit in mind, here’s a sweet video to bring joy and happiness to your life.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/eaetkl/these_santas_fighting_really_gets_me_in_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x

 

Beak demon

I was attacked by a chicken when I was 12 years old. The PTSD from it still lingers. I think about the black cock when I go to KFC. This last sentence makes sense because I am straight. Though I got some skin pecked away from my ass, what hurt more was that my cousins left me there to die, when it happened. Betrayal. I was tricked into throwing sand at the king chicken.

Reclusion

I make up words because I am a champion. Wait… reclusion is actually a real word. Anyway, there are a few problems associated with being a recluse. One of them is that people think you are rude. I don’t like phone calls. I don’t get many, but sometimes I avoid receiving calls from friends and family, and obviously, they don’t like it. It’s quite natural for people to think I’m being an asshole. That being said, texting is a very very good alternative though, except for the ‘read receipts’ and ‘blue ticks’, fuck that.

Family romance

I know the title sounds fucked up. It’s the name of a rental service in Japan. They rent out family. Husband, wife, son, daughter, parents, friends, you name it, they got it. Even relatives. I can’t think of a reason why someone would want relatives though. I wonder if they would take this service further, and start offering exchange programs. The future is full of surprises, but I can’t help but wonder about the dark side. What if a robot commited suicide?

 

 

Siblings

Today I realized how much, older siblings influence their younger ones. It’s a scary amount. The younger ones absorb everything the older ones do. In a way, the younger ones carry on from where the older ones left off. I thought about how much of an influence my sister was on me. My taste in music, movies, books, food, hobbies, pets, etc. were all, in a way, indirectly influenced by her. And for that, I thank her. She had great taste in movies. I’ll give her that. Everything else was shit.

My sister turned 40 last month. I wanted to let her know exactly how much I love her. So I gave her a nice birthday speech, during which I said things like, “not long now”, “cherish every moment”, “medical insurance”, “death”, etc. to which she retaliated by calling my life a joke.

Need somebody to lean on? Are you sure?

I’m a fan of the song. But is it true that 

Everybody needs somebody?

Everybody needs something?

Maybe I’m inexplicably naive. But as human beings, I think we are evolving to be more independent and efficient in every way possible. Whenever I feel down, and feel like I need companionship, I do this little trick where I look up to myself! (lame, I know). I ask myself for advice, and guess what? It works! Especially when I’m drunk. You know why? Because deep inside, I know that I am the only person in the whole world who can help me. I know how relationships, religion, that sort of thing, seem magical. Do you think, in the far-away future, people will still cling on to these?

Or, is all of this just nonsense spewing from a super-introverted, super-single, super-happy human being? My mom called the other day and talked a lot about how she thinks I’ve changed. The words, ‘distant’, ‘strange’ and ‘family’ were used repeatedly. She’s funny. I like her.

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PS:

I just remembered my dog. Everything makes sense now. Dammit.