Being a loner is like viewing people from afar through a pair of binoculars. Now, this binocular is top of the line, military grade stuff. It sees in the dark. It senses people’s facial expressions. The only time it fails is when people show up too close.
Incoming motivational post. If you’ve had enough of those on WordPress, walk away now. Escape!
I always wished I had a go-to person who could answer all of my burning questions.
“How long do eggs last, refrigerated?”
“I want to start my own company. I have the experience. But I’m not good leadership material. How do I convince someone to join my team?”
“What is the maximum amount of chocolate I can consume while staying alive?”
“What did I do wrong in my previous relationship?”
I’m talking full-on Black Mirror-style scenario where you can employ people to help you with your day-to-day life. Life would be so much simpler. We wouldn’t have to leave everything up to the “voice in the head” who messes things up all the time. Sounds great but I think we don’t give the voice in our heads enough credit. Think about this for a moment. How much freedom do you actually give to the voice in your head, while making decisions? Before you make any decision always ask yourself this. Who’s in charge? You? or fear? Who makes the decisions? Don’t let fear take the wheel. Give the voice in your head a chance.
“Always remember the voice in your head
Speaks to you when you’re alone
And it comforts you
From the top of your heart to the bottom of your soul”
Song: Bottom of your soul
After I got back from work today I played one of those exciting mind-games called ‘count the number of words you spoke today’. I counted. Maybe 100 tops. Most of it was to the cab driver. I wonder if blogging counts as talking. Probably not.
I am excited to start this new series of posts. Here, I will be posting completely random shit. Shit that I, as a successful full-on recluse, do to keep myself going. Now, some of the stuff I say here might not be, you know(how do I make this less disgusting?), ‘socially acceptable’. So(as a great scientist once said) hold on to your butts.
I was walking back from work today when I overheard a random dude speaking to (what looked like) his colleagues on the sidewalk. He was making a speech and the only part I heard was,”…It makes perfect sense. Especially because we have the majority market share…”. For some reason I felt a sudden urge to go upto him and yell, “are you sure about that?”.
Now, this is corporate India we’re talking about. If some random guy approaches you in the middle of the road and questions your accountability, you don’t just question back, you roll with it. So he started laying down statistics and company policies while the colleagues had a good laugh. Made my day.
In other random news, (this is for the Indian folk) did you know Bajaj sells auto rickshaws in Egypt? Bet you didn’t know that. Bet you didn’t want to know that. Bet you’re a little pissed off right now. But is this post the only reason for your discomfort? Or did something bad happen to you today? Maybe at work? Think about it.
Now, I don’t have an issue with people commenting on this post(trust me, none does), but if your comment mentions anything remotely similar to ‘erectile dysfunction’ or ‘hair donation’ or some shit like that, I swear to god man. I will find you. The next time you walk up to your car and drop your keys, guess who will be standing right behind you when you get back up?
Warning: This post will derail into several unrelated topics. Let the adventure begin!
Date: November 12th 2017
Time: 10:30 pm
Movie: Thor Ragnarok a.k.a. Rainbows
Audio configuration: Dolby Atmos
Depression level: mild
Popcorn: chilly cheese
Verdict: Meh. Auro 3D wins.
It was nice to see a good mix of loners and couples in the audience. Despite being a loner myself I was slightly uncomfortable with the close proximity that some of the other loners maintained with me. So I gently got up, went to the restroom, came back and sat in a completely different seat(like a man). It was interesting to see that all the loners had also left the hall, possibly to use the restroom. What was even more interesting to see was upon returning they looked around for me and sat right next to me again. I felt like a shepherd who came to watch Thor with a flock of sheep. I wasn’t threatened however. Most of them were nerds like me. Its easy to spot nerds and weirdos. Nerds keep checking their “notification-free” blank phone screens while weirdos secretly stare at people. I guess that makes me a weirdo too. Learning everyday! Back to the topic. I did not feel very enveloped in sound which is the whole point of ATMOS. The quality of audio I experienced does not justify the extensive use of expensive, high quality speakers. Maybe the audio was “too real”. I don’t know. I am aware that the audio in Thor is not great but I feel the whole ATMOS thing was overhyped. I guess movies need to be mixed properly to take full advantage of ATMOS system. I am obsessed with surround sound. It might be because I am a homebody. However I think it plays an important part in todays cinema.
My theory on why surround sound is important:
Movies are getting realer. That’s not a real word but its true. We like it when there are “real” emotions, real weather and obviously, real sound. And for sound to be real, it has to come from all directions. It has to envelope the listener and take them on a journey away from reality. Wait… that contradicts what I just said but you get the point. This might come as a surprise to many movie enthusiasts but natural sound is surround sound at its best. Yes, I am talking about the sounds that you hear everyday. Take a moment and think about the sounds you hear everyday. Replay them in your head. I’ll help with a few examples from my exciting life:
- The sound of the alarm that reminds you everyday that there’s no escape. Even with your eyes closed you are able to make out in which direction the sound from hell is coming from. All it takes is a little fumbling around with the hands on the table, making way through all the antidepressants, bills and maybe a drop of the cellphone until you finally feel the familiar snooze button.
- Annoying roommates ,their radio and their general happy mood. For some reason, your roommate thinks the only way to spread joy is to make sure that her favourite DJ’s voice reaches aliens clearly.
- Neighbourhood dogs
- Thunder- You might have noticed that these types of sounds create uneasiness in the mind. Other examples include tremors, storms, etc. Studies have revealed that we are pre-programmed to dislike or fear these type of sounds as they signal danger. Just another gift of evolution.
- Drunk people in the night
- Lovers whispering
- Occasional hip hop fan driving by with the windows wide open, spreading happiness in his own way
What all of these sounds have in common is that you can localize the source without having to actually see them. We need the same effect in movies. This is what Dolby, DTS, Auro 3D,etc. have been trying to replicate for years. Stay tuned for my next post- “Stereo, I don’t hate you”
Two years have gone by since I moved to Kolkata. Life’s been great so far. However, whenever I get too happy my phone does a good job of reminding me that I have zero friends outside of work. So I did what anyone else would do in these situations. Drum roll… ta da! I turned to religion.
Last Sunday morning I decided to go to church. Thought I would go see what our friendly church-goers are up to. I was expecting to see a lot of the “lets all stare at the new guy to make him super uncomfortable” routine. To my surprise, no one gave a shit and it felt great. That was until halfway through mass. I noticed a lady wearing cargo shorts staring at me. She looked at me and smiled. Then I did the unthinkable. I looked right back at her and without any hesitation gave her a super wide smile. There were no negative thoughts like “Is she super religious? Should I go talk to her? Will she kill me after mass?”. All that was going on in my mind was,” Fuck yes! I did it! Finally accepted by society. That’s all that matters. It’s all uphill from here”.
I was walking back home when I was stopped by (you guessed it) lady in the cargo shorts. After an initial “Hi I saw you at church” introduction, began a questioning spree “Where are you from? You don’t look like you’re from here. Where do you stay? Do you like it here? Do you have some cash on you?”.
Why do you mock me universe? Why?