Travel

Floating market

Being the adventurous go-getter that I am, I paid a visit to the “floating market” on Sunday. The idea of the floating market is simple. Basically, you pay extra to buy groceries from boats. It kind of makes sense. There’s no entry fee. So you get to enjoy the sights for free, if you want to.

IMG_20180512_214931.jpg

The Floating Market, Kolkata

IMG_20180512_213811.jpg

IMG_20180512_214742.jpg

My sole purpose of visiting the market was to chill, like this guy.

IMG_20180512_214036.jpg

Advertisements

Museum of metal wonders

I went to an Archiological Museum. Did I spell that right? Archeology-cal? Archaeoloji. Ar…Ar… Anglican. Anyway… this museum had some unusual stuff in it. I reached the museum quite late. It was about to close. So, a security guard was assigned to guide/nag me through the entire museum. As you all know, I take my museum visits very seriously. So I explicitly stated that the guard maintain a distance of exactly three metres away from me at all times. Why ‘three’ you ask? Well, that’s none of your business. As soon as the receptionist understood that I had difficulty speaking Bengali, she began to shoot questions in English. “Are you South Indian? Where do you stay here? What did you have for dinner yesterday? What’s your blood type?”. You know…the usual stuff. I mean, she was very attractive. That’s probably why I panicked. After a short, uncomfortable conversation, I began the tour with my personal bodyguard.

There were extremely old paintings and pottery(7-14 century). Just as I was about to finish viewing the ground floor, motherfucker(guard) started to blow a damn whistle(probably to ask me to leave). Another guard heard this whistle and started to blow his own whistle. Within a few seconds, the whole fucking museum was whistling. I could see birds fly away from the roof. Motherfuckers were disturbing the wildlife.

As soon I got to the first floor, I knew it was a different scene. You see, there were these sculptures made of metal, kept in glass housings. They were sculpted in the 9th century. I hadn’t seen anything like it before. Figures sculpted with unimaginable level of detail and yet so tiny and realistic. That was not the impressive part. The figures were not of people or animals, rather it looked like something that was taken straight out of a Stephen King movie. There was a figure with an elephant’s head and a slim guy’s body(It had nothing to do with religion). It was holding a walking stick. It had a hunchback. It looked like it was dying. Then there were snakes, dragons and warriors that looked like trees, stuff that I have never seen or could have imagined. I was awestruck.

How could somebody think of that? How wild does ones imagination have to be to make something like that? Where did he get the idea from? Did an alien put it in his mind? Did he dream of it in his sleep? Did his day-to-day life affect the design of the sculpture in any way? Did his family approve of him spending so much time making figures that made no sense to common people? What was going on in his mind when he made it? How was he able to put an ‘idea’ into a sculpture? Does the sculpture mean something? So many questions.

I don’t have any pictures of the metal wonders because pictures were prohibited inside the museum. And I can respect that. All I have is a picture of a tree, from the museum’s garden.

IMG_20180304_163513.jpg

The metal wonders will always live inside my head. I do not need pictures of them.

On an unrelated note, I got a keyboard. Today is Day 4 with new keyboard.

Side note: I do not know how to play the keyboard.

Visit to the eye doctor

Had to go see the eye doctor today because I sprayed lead in my eye. Life is a mystery, guys. It just keeps getting stranger and stranger. Incase you didn’t know, I am a total social recluse who is working on improving myself. So every opportunity I get to socialise, I force myself to go for it. So I did the most logical thing and hit on two junior doctors at the hospital. Lets just say I got ‘special’ attention because of that. The doctor was really nice. After staring into my soul for a few minutes, she concluded that I had an infection. 

Now that I have disgraced myself, lets move on to the fun part of the story, the part where I make friends. After seeing the doctor I decided to explore that part of the city(this whole incident took place at Salt Lake, Kolkata). Now, I don’t often make friends during my travels because, you know, people are terrifying. But this time, I met some jovial characters that I couldn’t resist making friends with. They were so chill that they didn’t mind me taking pictures of them. In fact, they were happy to hear that I would be writing about them on my blog. Without further ado, here they are.

 

IMG_20180317_174606-EFFECTS.jpg

The “whoa there slow down” lion

 

IMG_20180317_174006.jpg

The Grasshoppers

The “whoa there slow down” lion is the golden guardian of the roads. He is a funny guy who shouts funny things like, “If you are in a hurry, drive slower”, “your children would rather see you come home late than see you arrive in a casket”, “sex can wait, spinal cord surgeries cannot”. He was sad to say that out of all the defaulters, Lions club members were the worst. We took a selfie too but I can’t show that here due to legal reasons. Onto the next gang, the merry Grasshoppers. The Grasshoppers are a funk/jazz fusion band. They were on tour. It surprised me to see that they didn’t have a drummer. No offence, they sounded great without one. They explained how the drummer had problems with drug abuse. They said he was particularly fond of something called “grass”, which was pretty ironic because all of them seemed to be made out of … you know… grass.

I need help.

 

 

 

Ruins

There’s nothing more depressing than watching a movie theater close down. Its like watching art die. Now, as to reasons why such places shut shop, there’s obviously no mystery. In most cases, it is the failure to adapt/grow or mismanagement. Maybe theaters have comfort zones too!

 

IMG_20180314_113019.jpg

Metro Cinema, Kolkata

 

Apparently, this one right here was a big deal back in the day. It’s got some pretty interesting history with Metro Goldwyn Mayer. When I first saw this beauty today, my first reaction was to go touch the walls. You see, my ex-girlfriend claimed she had the ability to ‘feel’ places. I know this sounds fucked up. Let’s just say she had a broad definition for ‘feel’ in this case. In order to do this, she would switch over to X-men mode and literally go hug the walls. My immediate reaction to this was, “uh oh… substance abuse”.

So I tried touching the walls,

 

IMG_20180314_113236.jpg

Other than a wifi symbol and a big ass, I wasn’t able to get much from this

I tried touching the ground

IMG_20180314_113102.jpg

Nothing.

Maybe it’s a heightened sense thing or synesthesia. You know, like Looney Tunes.

 

Ray of light

As a social recluse, I am a big fan of peace and quiet. This is one of the main reasons why I like my job. It involves spending quite a lot of time in special noise-free environments known as anechoic chambers. The best thing about working in such environments is that it encourages you to think about life’s most important existential questions like will there ever be a movie as good as Back to the future? or what’s the point of shaving everyday? or why don’t I have any friends? As you can see, my imagination is one of a kind. In order to keep it fresh, I like to visit places that stimulate and relax the brain at the same time.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

One such place is a planetarium. I think everyone needs to visit a planetarium at least once in their lifetime. It has the power to inspire, to awe, and most important of all, to give you an understanding of your place in the universe. I go to my nearby planetarium whenever I feel down and in need of inspiration. When the lights go down and the stars come out my heart starts to race. I am so fascinated  by the unknown that I cannot explain the level of excitement I experience every time I visit the planetarium. It is my escape, my safe place, my one ray of light, my one ray of life.

Valent

No, I didn’t mess up the post’s title.

Valent- Having one or more valences
Valence-The combining capacity of an atom, radical or functional group determined by the number of electrons that it will lose, gain, or share when it combines with other atoms etc.

-Wikipedia

Learning everyday!

Having been dumped well in advance before valentines day, I am one of those lucky people who will be spending the day indoors. Wait a minute…that’s no different from any other day. Anyway… it is the day couples have been waiting for. It is the day for gifts, emotions and several other things that I’m devoid of. For the rest of us, it is the day for awkwardness, packed restaurants, more awkwardness and Black Panther. Woohoo! Thank you Marvel. 

Quick change of topic to escape the depression(cos that’s how I roll now)

Welcome to Jurassic Pa… I mean my weekend adventure to the book fair. You know that feeling you get when you have a lazy Sunday morning at your hands and a sudden urge to sit down and read a really good book comes up? I never get that. I would instead… do anything but that. So why the hell would someone like me go to a book fair you ask? Well first of all, fuck you. Books are for everyone. Secondly, fuck you again. I hate you for asking that. Plus, who could resist going to a book fair when they welcome you in French?

IMG_20180211_202334.jpg

And serve you great food

IMG_20180211_205718.jpg

Kids, this is what adult depression looks like. The letters go up and down. Isn’t it fun?

IMG_20180211_202409.jpg

There’s no better way to describe it. It’s a Disneyland just for the nerds. Instead of waterslides, they have book signings. Instead of rides they have bookstalls. Even though I felt the life slowly drain away from my body, it was nice to see the nerds loose their shit at seeing authors appear like astronauts who just landed from space.

I grew up in one of those households where there was a library ‘inside’ the house. Can you believe that shit? What a waste of space. And my sister, the biggest nerd of all, was like the librarian who also guarded the gates. The moment I enter the room, she would up the security. Mother would step in and offer a hand at pushing me out. So, clearly this goes back to my childhood.

PS: I have nothing against books or nerds. I am a nerd myself but I still like to make fun of them.

 

 

Greening of the mind

IMG_20170702_153610

I just took some great pictures and wanted to show them to the world. That’s the only reason why I am making this post. I’ve never even heard the phrase “greening of the mind” before. Sounds fantastic.

IMG_20170702_140238

All along the way I kept asking myself “where have all the dinosaurs gone?”. I still find it difficult to come to terms with the fact we are all living on the very same planet where once the awesome dinosaurs roamed. How cool is that? I don’t know what it is about the colour green. There’s something special about it. I’ve heard people say that we’re mentally programmed to like it or whatever. There’s something mysterious about the colour. To see it on a tree and grass is very different from seeing it on a painting. Now that I’ve gotten used to seeing green on the trees, if for some reason they had to change to some other colour, I would be very displeased. It would just destroy me. Weird.

IMG_20170702_144626

Nature repairing the damage

 

IMG_20170702_143636

We need these gigantic “green things” more than we think. I know…all they do is give out oxygen. No big deal.