It has come to this. Something as small as leaving the goddamn window open next to my bed makes me get sick the next day, and it’s not just a leaky nose, it’s a full-on asthma. Why does nature hate me? Have I lost all immunity during the quarantine? Will I need to integrate myself back into society once all this is over?
Life doesn’t give you lemons, it gives you asthma.
I figured out why I like watching podcasts so much. By watching one podcast, and then watching another podcast run by one of the guests who appears on this podcast, I am basically doing what I am unable to do in real life, which is, making a friend circle, sort of. I am so deep into podcasts now, like it’s starting to get scary. I am in sync with Youtube. The second I walk away from the screen, ads start playing, and then when I come back, the frickin podcast is back on. I know that ad placement is upto the uploader but it’s like they’ve dropped the capitalistic approach, but only for me.
I know the title sounds fucked up. It’s the name of a rental service in Japan. They rent out family. Husband, wife, son, daughter, parents, friends, you name it, they got it. Even relatives. I can’t think of a reason why someone would want relatives though. I wonder if they would take this service further, and start offering exchange programs. The future is full of surprises, but I can’t help but wonder about the dark side. What if a robot commited suicide?
I am now at a point in my life where I have completely lost the ability to socialize. Yes, its 100% gone. I did it! Woo hoo! Feels great. I feel like I deserve a medal or something. Or a hug. I prefer the hug over the medal actually.
I tried. I gave it my best. How can you conquer something that deep down you know you don’t want? I have begun to really really like not talking to people. I am very happy by myself. Ha ha. But it worries me because I know that’s not good.