I got the job

I got the “gig”. I did it! I did it! The nerd is in a rock band. All I can say now is shit’s about to go down.

I haven’t played in that many bands but I know the feeling you get when a bus bearing your band’s name comes to pick you up for a show. Yes, I do believe in that “band is family” shit. It’s a mysterious musical-interest-based-bond that refuses to go away even after the band breaks up. Enough gay shit.

After the audition was over the lead singer announced that they would be happy to have me play the drums. So naturally my first instinct was to go over to the mic and announce that I was not gay. But I held it in for a better opportunity. It also gave me a brilliant idea. I could do some stand-up when we play live. That would kill time in between songs. Also, I get to humiliate hecklers.

To quote the great poet Nikki Sixx,

When we started this band
All we needed, needed was a laugh
Years gone by, I’d say we’ve kicked some ass
When I’m enraged Or hittin’ the stage
Adrenaline rushing Through my veins
And I’d say we’re still kickin’ ass

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Comfort zone

I got a call from a cousin recently. Its one of those cousins that you know, calls once every three or four months to show that he cares and shit. But this time the conversation went a little differently. 

How’s everything? How’s work? How long have you been working there? Are you getting paid well? Do you think that’s good enough for you? Wait… let me tell you this before you even answer. No, that’s not good enough for you. You have to aim higher. Why are you not trying? Say hi to mom .Take care buddy!

I think orphans are lucky in certain ways. I have never been bothered by relatives before but this got me thinking. Besides, dude is a pretty awesome engineer himself. So I didn’t want to let it out the other ear. Obviously, there’s no point in writing all of this crap in a blog because ultimately I am the one who needs to wake up and take decisions. For some reason, I think writing helps.

If I keep doing what I like does that make me some kind of a “non-dreamer”? Do you necessarily have to keep switching jobs frequently until you find the best one? I like to call such people “bullet trains”. They don’t pay attention to the little things because the attention is on the main goal. Granted, I don’t get paid well and I hate everyone at work but hey, I love the job! In fact I am sure that I can do much more with it. I have to admit that it has started to feel a bit like a nice cozy comfort zone but that’s just something I’ll have to deal with.

On a lighter note, I got a new apartment

Pros:

Big

Internet is faster than the rate at which “bullet trains” switch jobs.

Next door neighbour’s name is Loki

Very rarely do I bump into talkative neighbours

Cons:

Nothing so far. Woohoo!

Never thought I’d say this but…

I think I miss my roommate

Software update

Hello there! Allow me to introduce myself. I am the software update that you’ve been waiting for. I will not only give you amazing new features but also fix everything wrong with your phone (and life). Get ready for a totally revamped settings menu, icons and lots of other unnecessary bullshit that gobble up of all of your phone’s processing power. And now for the big one. The latest in tech innovation that all of you want so desperately. That’s right. New emojis! My developers have taken so much care to make my delivery as smooth as possible. Years of experience have taught them how to deliver me at the most inconvenient times.

I need to put an end to the rumours about me slowing down your phone. There’s no proof of that. It might very well be due to your dying hardware. Ditch that piece of crap and get a new one(manufacturers love it when this happens).

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20160612-heres-the-truth-about-the-planned-obsolescence-of-tech

If you think I am a pain in the ass, surprise surprise! You are not wrong! Infact, some top notch companies are having so much trouble with me that they have begun to vent their frustrations online!.

https://blogs.sonymobile.com/2017/11/03/journey-android-software-rollout/

Some of you might try and delay my installation. You can keep ignoring my notifications but your apps will gradually stop functioning properly. That’s right. You need me. Here’s what will happen if you don’t install me:

First of all, you will miss out on the world’s most amazing things.

You will feel old and outdated

Suicide will keep coming up as an option

Your phone will become prone to cyber attacks

Why do you hate me so much? I don’t want to hurt you. Granted, occasionally I might erase your entire contact list, texts, etc. but its not intentional! Now imagine you turn off your phone while I’m getting installed. That’s when the real fun starts. Ta da! Now you have to reset your phone to its factory settings. By doing this I am actually giving you the chance to be reborn, start a new life with new contacts and photos. But don’t sweat. If you are dissatisfied with my performance you always have the option to “roll back” to my previous “stable” release. Because I care about you, the user. You are everything to me.

Lets be real

Software updates are a necessary evil. If you don’t get it, you will actually miss out on a lot of cool stuff and improvements. Believe it or not, updates are meant to make your life a lot easier. People fuss about how these updates reorganize everything but that’s the company’s way of listening to its customers. Besides, every update contains important security patches that help protect your phone from attacks. Having said that, if someone sets their mind on hacking your specific account, believe me, they will do it. I don’t think anyone is safe. New technology gets developed by the hour. The only way your phone can keep up with the times is through software updates. Back in the day, you would be stuck with the same phone for years but now, every software update breathes in new life into your phone. That’s kinda cool. But there’s no denying the fact that it will slowly kill your phone.

My first Dolby Atmos experience

Warning: This post will derail into several unrelated topics. Let the adventure begin!

Date: November 12th 2017

Time: 10:30 pm

Movie: Thor Ragnarok a.k.a. Rainbows

Audio configuration: Dolby Atmos

Seats: 240

Viewers: 15

Depression level: mild

Popcorn: chilly cheese

Verdict: Meh. Auro 3D wins.

It was nice to see a good mix of loners and couples in the audience. Despite being a loner myself I was slightly uncomfortable with the close proximity that some of the other loners maintained with me. So I gently got up, went to the restroom, came back and sat in a completely different seat(like a man). It was interesting to see that all the loners had also left the hall, possibly to use the restroom. What was even more interesting to see was upon returning they looked around for me and sat right next to me again. I felt like a shepherd who came to watch Thor with a flock of sheep. I wasn’t threatened however. Most of them were nerds like me. Its easy to spot nerds and weirdos. Nerds keep checking their “notification-free” blank phone screens while weirdos secretly stare at people. I guess that makes me a weirdo too. Learning everyday! Back to the topic. I did not feel very enveloped in sound which is the whole point of ATMOS. The quality of audio I experienced does not justify the extensive use of expensive, high quality speakers. Maybe the audio was “too real”. I don’t know. I am aware that the audio in Thor is not great but I feel the whole ATMOS thing was overhyped. I guess movies need to be mixed properly to take full advantage of  ATMOS system. I am obsessed with surround sound. It might be because I am a homebody. However I think it plays an important part in todays cinema.

My theory on why surround sound is important:

Movies are getting realer. That’s not a real word but its true. We like it when there are “real” emotions, real weather and obviously, real sound. And for sound to be real, it has to come from all directions. It has to envelope the listener and take them on a journey away from reality. Wait… that contradicts what I just said but you get the point. This might come as a surprise to many movie enthusiasts but natural sound is surround sound at its best. Yes, I am talking about the sounds that you hear everyday. Take a moment and think about the sounds you hear everyday. Replay them in your head. I’ll help with a few examples from my exciting life:

  1. The sound of the alarm that reminds you everyday that there’s no escape. Even with your eyes closed you are able to make out in which direction the sound from hell is coming from. All it takes is a little fumbling around with the hands on the table, making way through all the antidepressants, bills and maybe a drop of the cellphone until you finally feel the familiar snooze button.
  2. Annoying roommates ,their radio and their general happy mood. For some reason, your roommate thinks the only way to spread joy is to make sure that her favourite DJ’s voice reaches aliens clearly.
  3. Neighbourhood dogs
  4. Thunder- You might have noticed that these types of sounds create uneasiness in the mind. Other examples include tremors, storms, etc. Studies have revealed that we are pre-programmed to dislike or fear these type of sounds as they signal danger. Just another gift of evolution.
  5. Drunk people in the night
  6. Lovers whispering
  7. Occasional hip hop fan driving by with the windows wide open, spreading happiness in his own way

What all of these sounds have in common is that you can localize the source without having to actually see them. We need the same effect in movies. This is what Dolby, DTS, Auro 3D,etc. have been trying to replicate for years. Stay tuned for my next post- “Stereo, I don’t hate you”