I’m constipated, and I want to say some things before I go to the toilet. I want to talk about the pressure of it all. The vein on my forehead is visible from the other end of the dinner table. Back in the day, all it took was a banana, but now, things are different. The way things work is different. My life is different. Your life is different. We both got shit to deal with. Mostly me.
Movie trailers are ruining movies
Out of control social justice warriors are ruining social justice
Constipation is ruining my life
Is the mind really preoccupied with that many thoughts? How does this miracle called meditation work? What is it’s magic? How do I wake up feeling energized and less angry than 10 minutes ago? Maybe the brain has a limit, and if we breach that limit, and overwhelm it with unnecessary thoughts, it reaches it’s maximum capacity, and stops processing information. I feel happier and more alive.
Why do all words that begin with ‘ju’ sound exciting?
Ju-wanna build a snowman?
The whole “opposites attract” thing:
Do you think that’s nature’s way of offsetting people’s shortcomings? For example, a short guy is attracted to tall women, thereby their offspring will be normal height. Or shy guy attracted to outgoing women. You know what I mean? Or is it just people being curious about other people who are just different from them?
We delve deep into the unknown. Do ghosts exist? Are you the ghost? Are the ghosts really aliens? Were you adopted? Stay tuned while we examine our childhood, and blame society for all our problems. What are you waiting for? Click the damn play button.
I bought my mom a Croissant because I think she deserves it for tolerating me. I also bought her a Danish because she’s been tolerating me for 8 months now. After buying said gifts, I walked back to the car only to see a sexy guy wearing shades taking pictures. It made me happy to see tourists back on the streets again. So I got in the car with a smile on my face, and then suddenly it clicked, the “tourist” was a cop and the “picture” was my number plate.
Guys, I knew this day would finally come. It was just a matter of time, since I have an affinity for these kind of things. I don’t know how to go about this. It might sound crazy to all of you, but I hope my personal experience sheds some light on this much debated topic. There’s no easy way to say it….
I’ve discovered time travel.
It happens when I pass through a glitch in the universe. It’s some sort of a gateway, and right now, it’s at the doorstep of the State Treasury Department. Stay with me. I went there to open a fixed deposit thinking it’s the right thing to do given the volatile nature of the current economy.
So I reached the gate of this magnificent building, and I see about hundred people waiting in queue to get in. Turns out, those are people being made to wait because they’re there to withdraw money. For people who want to deposit money, there’s a lady at the door welcoming you in right away with open arms, and she’s willing to show you around and stuff.
The moment you pass through those doors, you feel something’s different. You see people talking in a different accent, there’s flip phones, lots of wood, bottles of glue, there’s staff walking around without wearing any ID tags, it’s the real deal, and get this, the office “server” shuts down at 12:00 pm, which is like, standard operating procedure for establishments that existed in the 90’s. So post 12:00 pm, we go back even further in time to the dark ages where people yell at each other, and show hand-signals to communicate.
I had to go three times to this shit hole to open a frikkin fixed deposit, and I still haven’t even got the damn passbook yet. The year is 2021. Get your shit together, State Treasury.
I never thought it would come down to this, but I’ve decided to read a book. I haven’t decided what to read yet, but the decision to read has been made, and that in itself is worth mentioning on this good for nothing blog. I am excited. The last time I did this was a decade ago, and it took me four years to complete reading the God Father, but I am giving it another chance because life is all about second chances, right? Don’t you think people miss out on a lot of stuff just because they never gave it another shot? If I’ve learned anything from watching the Batman, it is to try again, but without the rope, which is scary, but if you feel it in your gut, then by all means. Also, do whatever it takes to not mess up your back. By the way, I would like to point out that every time I’ve claimed that I started reading a book, I’ve never followed it through, but this this time it’s going to be different because I’ve voted, and I feel something’s different, though I know I made the wrong choice. So here we go!
Btw, is it just me or has WordPress gone colour blind? because this is what I see when I try to pick the font colour.