Something incredible happened to me today. Here’s the short version:
I stepped outside the house and made friends.
That’s right. I left the comforts of my cozy apartment with its “high speed” internet and everything to wander about aimlessly through the streets.
Why is “me stepping outside the house” a big deal?
This is super embarrassing but it is also the truth. I broke up with my girlfriend a few weeks ago. Since then I have confined myself to my apartment. No travelling, no music, no outdoor stuff, no talking, no nothing. Everyday, I would leave for work, come back, watch videos on YouTube and go to bed when my back started to hurt. I kept asking myself – Why did you do it you looser? Actually the voice in my head used many more expletives which I will not be revealing here as this is a children-friendly blog after all(unfuckingbelievable). I’m sure you’ve heard/done all this before but for a person like me who is not very social as it is, this isolation was at an extreme level. I hated everything and everybody. I became super productive at work though. Don’t know how the hell that happened!
So on Saturday I decided to end this misery. I called up two of my friends who I haven’t talked to in a while and planned to go watch a movie the next day. Then I did the unthinkable. I stepped outside. While I sat on the sidewalk eating, a girl came sat next to me. We started to talk. The conversation went well, marked by surprised shouts of “Oh you’re from the south? me too!” “No way! You like shawarma too?” “Oh shit! you’re a hooker?” wait… the last one may have been just a question in my mind. Anyway… she had incredible stories to tell and she was also unbelievably honest.
While walking I saw a couple with their little girl. Their accent sounded familiar. So I talked to them. Fast forward a few minutes. I find myself sitting on their couch watching a movie with them, their two year old sitting on top of my head. I had actually made friends. Incredible! Then I went for a long walk. On the way, I met a couple of guys playing football. They saw me staring at them and asked if I wanted to join.
It was like the universe had a board meeting regarding my pathetic condition. This is probably how the meeting went:
Alright listen up. Looks like this looser is going to kill himself if he goes on like this. Lets try giving him some friends. That’ll work! And just so that he wouldn’t get too happy, lets make him move. The funny thing is that I know for sure that I will not speak to or see these people again! However, it was nice to feel normal for a single day.
High five universe!
Just when you thought you’ve seen all the cool stuff on the internet: