Back to blogging

I am sitting here, writing this on a tablet at a railway station. I feel like a true millennial now. Sundar Picchai kept his word. There is wifi in the middle of nowhere. Free for the first 30 minutes. That’s not enough to watch an episode of Primal. I get it. It’s meant to test the waters. Once you get a feel of the wifi, you will end up buying it. I will, because by the time I post this, my free time would be over this whole thing would be an incomplete draft blog post, lost in the interne

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Did you fall for it? Shame on you. A kid is swinging her feet through drainage water behind me. Her grandfather is mad at her. He is screaming through my headphones. He is defeating my noise canceling abilities. And right now , as we speak, I mean as I write, she just catapulted his phone to the edge of the platform. All of a sudden , the grandpa turns into a laid back chill person. He is calmly explaining to his granddaughter that he does not like it when his phone travels. Now they are walking holding hands. I have to admit. It is a very cute sight.

Update: The wifi lasted forever

Life

I used to be a firm believer that I can go at this alone. Then I started to read here and there that man is after all a social animal. Then I read about a research done in understanding the keys to longevity. It is here where I read about the importance of community, and feeling included, feeling heard. So now I stand corrected, at age 32. Who knows if it’ll change again? I still have a lot of apprehensions about meeting new people, or just talking to people for that matter. I am scared. I admit. I am scared of people. I am scared of what they might say, or do with the information that I provide. Just like everyone else, I have felt betrayed by people. However there is still a sliver of hope left in me. There might be good people out there. There has to be. There can also be aliens who are not interested in doing sexual experiments on us.

Banana power

The new banana season is great. You know when you get a few good bananas from one guy, you know he’s got a whole batch of them. So you keep going back to him until he starts to realize you’re his slave, and that’s when he hits you with “I don’t have change for a hundred”. The power has shifted. Now you can’t do anything. But there is light, at the top of the tunnel. You don’t have to go to the end, there’s always light at the top, it’s government regulation. All you have to do is never go to him for a month. Eventually his good batch of bananas will run out, and people will start ignoring him. And then one fine day, on your way back from work you wait to look at his face. Then you smile. Then he asks you “what will it be today?”. You got the power back. You’ve won.

Shorter the better

When I really think back on my life, like, I’ve always just felt uncomfortable. You know, like, I don’t know what it is, like, my whole life has just been this constant struggle with every moment. Like, I’m just wrestling with every second just to feel okay. Like, I don’t even wanna feel good. Just set me in the middle, you know?

– Theo Von

Now, I can’t say this is the way my life has always been, but I definitely relate to it, especially now. It’s so weird I feel like I know exactly what he is talking about, but the truth he is, I don’t. He feels what he feels and I feel, well, whatever is thrown at me. I have found an app that lets me record these feelings and send them out into the world. What makes the app different? You get five minutes. Five minutes to vent, sing, love or blabber. The app is called Swell, and no, I don’t work for them.

Rock

I’ve been living in Kolkata for more than seven years now, and there isn’t a single rock band that I really like. There were a few songs here and there, and that was it. The Bangla rock scene is huge. There is a huge following of loyal fans who attend concerts on the regular. I never could find a band whose sound I could relate to. I didn’t hate the music, but it just wasn’t of my taste. You probably know where this is going. I found a band.

I was taken by surprise, because I had given up on this search long ago. In a first time in a long time, I was excited to discover something new. Yesterday there was a party at work. Some of our new products were being launched, and all of a sudden this insanely tight riff gripped the air. It was like sound coming from space. Very old, yet very fresh. Very new, but if I had a past life I probably listened to these guys. This is the rock equivalent of love at first sight. Only difference is you don’t want to fuck it after. A group of professional, passionate musicians. Their journeys different, but their paths, intertwined. I salute you, Cactus. Thank you for making me happy.

Notes

This blog, to me, is like writing on a mirror. It is not my friend. It is a record of glimpses of my life, and things I found to be interesting. I am surprised that lesbian porn never made it to any of the posts. We’ll, there’s a time and place. If my grandchildren use this blog to build an AI personality of me, I want to make sure that they get all the important stuff right. Chocolate cake will take the top spot, followed by my partner. Iron Maiden and comedy will follow. If on the other hand, my DNA is found by an alien species, and they decide to do experiments on my lab-grown body, I recommend you make a plan b before you try doing anything nasty. You know the drill, anal probe, skin grafting and such. This is why I will resume taking kick boxing lessons before I hit 40. Yes, I dream big, IMAX big.

Dreams

At some point in my life, I want to own an aviary. I want an Eagle to come sit on my shoulder, look me in the eye and feel ok.

Strong legs

I am now taking walks everyday after work at a park nearby. As you can imagine, there are people at the park, and I have to come face to face with people almost every few seconds. This is exposure therapy. Papa don’t like people looking at him, but little by little, I am getting comfortable looking at people’s faces or not looking at people’s faces, and just walking by. There is a 30% chance I might make a friend or two. So this walking is taking care of my Cholesterol, I think. I feel healthier, and I love seeing my strong legs. Speaking of strong legs, I am now watching the documentary on Jeffrey Dahmer. It certainly is not as gripping as the series, and I noticed something interesting. The documentary focuses more on the story of the murders. The series does a better job of showing how he turned out the way he is. I think that is important. If there’s anything to learn from this, I think it’s the reasons behind the making of a serial killer that is of most importance.

After reading another blog, I got intrigued on the effects of sugar, and I read an article about it and holy fuck. I need to cut down on the sugar intake somehow. 36 grams of added sugar a day is the limit. Can you believe that shit? 36 grams! I think I get 36 grams from breathing Kolkata air.

A gift

Two friends from Kerala came to visit. Today will be my last day with them, and it’s going to be sad. When people from your home town visit you, it’s like they bring a little piece of home to you, and when it goes away it’s painful. You’re so glad they’re here. You love showing them around, but when they leave, it’s heartbreaking. So today I will be getting drunk. Fuck the meds. It’s so good to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with two amazing people. I consider myself very lucky to have them. Imagine listening to a Toto song and dining with your best mates. That’s what it feels like. Pure bliss. For the last day of the tour, we will be covering Belur Math, Dakshineshwar Temple and if possible, the botanical garden. Three big places, with a lot to see. I am already feeling spiritual. The power of meditation within me rises. I feel the need, the need for speed. Let’s Top Gun this.

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Do the right thing

I only use my comedic powers for good. So today, when a mean little looser tried to shame me on Reddit, I practiced restraint. I prayed to God, to give me the power to forgive. I meditated, and then I came up with a great comeback that attacked his upbringing. In the words of the great Colossus, “Four or five moments, that’s all it takes. To be a hero. Everyone thinks it’s a full-time job. Wake up a hero. Brush your teeth a hero. Go to work a hero. Not true. Over a lifetime, there are only 4 or 5 moments that really matter. Moments when you’re offered a choice. To make a sacrifice, conquer a flaw, save a friend… spare an enemy. In these moments, everything else falls away.” So I closed the window, and instead chose to share it with my six hundred loyal spam bots. A small step for me, one giant leap for my ego. Randomthoughtbeam out.