blog

What the laughter means

Story 1

Back in 2012 a friend of mine told me he tried to end himself when he was a kid. He explained to me how his parents fought constantly, and put undue pressure on him. So one day he got on his little bike, with the little bell, and drove straight into traffic.

When I heard this, I burst into laughter. I was not used to hearing stuff like this. The only way my brain could process such grief was to do something that normal people would never do in such situations. Plus, I wanted to make him laugh, and it did(phew!).

Story 2

A friend, her sister and her mom were taking her dad’s body to be cremated. The family was in for another surprise when they realized they didn’t have enough money to pay for the box which the ashes came in. So when the management showed them the bill, all three of them burst into laughter.

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Monday

It’s funday Monday everyone! How’s your beautiful Monday going? Mine has almost ended. It was a happy Monday for me. I enjoyed spending yet another nine hours of my life at work. I had nausea throughout the day from eating sweets the night before. So, instead of hitting the gym today, I’m hitting rock bottom! With all that extra time I earned, I was able to write this wonderful post for my amazing readers. Hurray! Doesn’t God work in mysterious ways?

I’m making myself laugh now 🙂 . Man! I love blogs.

So let’s talk about conversion therapy. It’s treatment aimed at fixing Gay people. Surprised? You heard me right! Using this novel approach we can turn Gay people Straight! All it takes is days of brainwashing, making yourself believe blatant lies, and destroying your life. It’s that simple. Thousands of people have been cured of this disease and are leading happy, super-straight lives. Soooo straight, that the guys literally walk out of the treatment centres in football jerseys, and the girls experience sudden growth of waist-long hair, and Pink outfits appear out of nowhere. To imagine, all it took was just a little lobotomy.

This motherfuckery has already been made illegal in a few places. As of now, Canada is considering making conversion therapy illegal. Bravo Canada! (No sarcasm there).

Running away from comfort

I never thought it’ll come to this, but I wrote a poem

 

I came here with hopes, dreams and a pair of earphones

I learned quite a lot, I have to admit

I met some good people, very good people, and bad people

I experienced warmth, cold, and culture

I ate whatever I could eat

I played, I loitered, but I have not littered

But now I feel like it is time for me to go

To where, I do not know, but I cannot stay here anymore

because this heaven has become my comfort zone

At the back of my head I hear,” part of the ship, part of the crew”

Which is why I need to get the fuck out of here ASAP

I am a creative person, too lazy to create

Hoping I get an Uber to my next destination

But I don’t feel helpless, because I have a vision

It tells me everything is going to fine 

As of now, I am a kite, caught on a power line

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Listen to curiosity

Water theme parks are something you hold close to your hearts as a child, but have to let go as adults because the wave pools are filled with urine, not poison, just urine.

If somebody doesn’t invite you to their wedding, it means they are not your friends.

If your dog humps your leg more than it should, there is a pretty high chance that you are gay.

(I like to make fun of things, and self-help blogs are one of them. So, this is going to be a new series of posts where I spew out unhelpful, unreliable and sometimes, spot-on advice)

The joy of writing

After reading about climate change in the paper today, I decided to take a nap on my chair, my head resting on the study table. As the circulation of blood to the head slowly began to drop, I began to dream. Since I don’t remember anything from the dream, I am going to end this post abruptly with a quote from the fat guy from The Simpsons.

“It’s so simple to be wise… just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it”. Have a nice day. Merry Christmas.