Russia has released footage of an unmanned drone, armed with an AK-47 rifle. The next time you go out to fly a kite, remember to put on your favourite bulletproof vest.
I never thought it’ll come to this, but I wrote a poem
I came here with hopes, dreams and a pair of earphones
I learned quite a lot, I have to admit
I met some good people, very good people, and bad people
I experienced warmth, cold, and culture
I ate whatever I could eat
I played, I loitered, but I have not littered
But now I feel like it is time for me to go
To where, I do not know, but I cannot stay here anymore
because this heaven has become my comfort zone
At the back of my head I hear,” part of the ship, part of the crew”
Which is why I need to get the fuck out of here ASAP
I am a creative person, too lazy to create
Hoping I get an Uber to my next destination
But I don’t feel helpless, because I have a vision
It tells me everything is going to fine
As of now, I am a kite, caught on a power line
Water theme parks are something you hold close to your hearts as a child, but have to let go as adults because the wave pools are filled with urine, not poison, just urine.
If somebody doesn’t invite you to their wedding, it means they are not your friends.
If your dog humps your leg more than it should, there is a pretty high chance that you are gay.
(I like to make fun of things, and self-help blogs are one of them. So, this is going to be a new series of posts where I spew out unhelpful, unreliable and sometimes, spot-on advice)
After reading about climate change in the paper today, I decided to take a nap on my chair, my head resting on the study table. As the circulation of blood to the head slowly began to drop, I began to dream. Since I don’t remember anything from the dream, I am going to end this post abruptly with a quote from the fat guy from The Simpsons.
“It’s so simple to be wise… just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it”. Have a nice day. Merry Christmas.
If there’s anything 2001: A Space Odyssey has taught me, it’s that black boxes(excluding coffins) evoke curiosity. There’s a mystery behind them(may include coffins). For some people, it evokes a little fear(definitely coffins).
But there’s nothing to fear about my new black box, a.k.a Cajón. It is a percussion instrument made of wood. It doubles as a short stool. In fact, you have to sit on it while you play, a sort of musical bonding between wood and ass.
This is not what it sounds like. This is a bad recording of the black box.
I feel like the term “weird” is being thrown around a lot lately. I use it a lot to describe myself. It’s become a hip thing to say, “I’m weird” or “you’re weird”. Similarly there’s the “I’m bad at math” or “I suck at cooking” brags. I think it’s awesome that people are willing to reveal their negatives and joke about it, but does everything you think is weird really qualify as weird? As a grown, 28 year old straight male, I’ve been thinking about some really weird shit lately 🙂 .
The other day I was watching an interview and it suddenly crossed my mind that my cousins never let me paint their nails. It hurt me a little bit. I thought to myself, why didn’t they ever let me do it?. Did they think I’ll screw it up? I mean, my hands had the precision of automated-computer-chip-manufacturing-machines(I might have a little Parkinson’s now). I used to do Yoga like a pro. No one could beat me at dodge ball (this rant right here, qualifies as weird).
Unfortunately, I can’t reveal all my weirdness here because I’m paranoid about my sister reading this blog anonymously. WordPress says there’s a lot of traffic to this blog from the country where she’s at. I love her, but she’s a little unstable.