When I really think back on my life, like, I’ve always just felt uncomfortable. You know, like, I don’t know what it is, like, my whole life has just been this constant struggle with every moment. Like, I’m just wrestling with every second just to feel okay. Like, I don’t even wanna feel good. Just set me in the middle, you know?
– Theo Von
Now, I can’t say this is the way my life has always been, but I definitely relate to it, especially now. It’s so weird I feel like I know exactly what he is talking about, but the truth he is, I don’t. He feels what he feels and I feel, well, whatever is thrown at me. I have found an app that lets me record these feelings and send them out into the world. What makes the app different? You get five minutes. Five minutes to vent, sing, love or blabber. The app is called Swell, and no, I don’t work for them.
I’ve been living in Kolkata for more than seven years now, and there isn’t a single rock band that I really like. There were a few songs here and there, and that was it. The Bangla rock scene is huge. There is a huge following of loyal fans who attend concerts on the regular. I never could find a band whose sound I could relate to. I didn’t hate the music, but it just wasn’t of my taste. You probably know where this is going. I found a band.
I was taken by surprise, because I had given up on this search long ago. In a first time in a long time, I was excited to discover something new. Yesterday there was a party at work. Some of our new products were being launched, and all of a sudden this insanely tight riff gripped the air. It was like sound coming from space. Very old, yet very fresh. Very new, but if I had a past life I probably listened to these guys. This is the rock equivalent of love at first sight. Only difference is you don’t want to fuck it after. A group of professional, passionate musicians. Their journeys different, but their paths, intertwined. I salute you, Cactus. Thank you for making me happy.
I don’t know if work qualifies as a “relationship” but damn those guys are draining all the energy out of me. Energy vampires like Colin Robinson from What We Do In The Shadows is indeed real. “Negative impact” is an understatement. “Catastrophe” is more accurate. If we were a football team, we would not play. If we were an icecream stand, I would be a wrapper in the garbage.
This blog, to me, is like writing on a mirror. It is not my friend. It is a record of glimpses of my life, and things I found to be interesting. I am surprised that lesbian porn never made it to any of the posts. We’ll, there’s a time and place. If my grandchildren use this blog to build an AI personality of me, I want to make sure that they get all the important stuff right. Chocolate cake will take the top spot, followed by my partner. Iron Maiden and comedy will follow. If on the other hand, my DNA is found by an alien species, and they decide to do experiments on my lab-grown body, I recommend you make a plan b before you try doing anything nasty. You know the drill, anal probe, skin grafting and such. This is why I will resume taking kick boxing lessons before I hit 40. Yes, I dream big, IMAX big.
What’s a post modern world? What’s so post about it? If we passed it, shouldn’t it be passed modernworld(pronounced as past modern world)?
Why is there charcoal in toothpaste?
Why do they call it supple breasts? it’s soft, and it looks like an Apple. Oh shit I answered that one. Sorry.
What’s so safe about air travel? You go up, you die. You go down, you die. The captain had a bad day, you die. You go to the toilet, you die-arrhea. You run out of Oxygen, you die. You ask for more water, you die. Everything in a plane points to death. Just because they sugarcoated it with some upholstered seats, doesn’t mean it still ain’t a metal tube in the air.
The phrase “freeze your tits off” meant nothing to me until today, when I decided to go for a walk in the park without a sweater on. Believe me when I say this, and there is no exaggeration here. My entire chest felt ice cold when I got home. It got so bad, I began to panic when it stayed cold for about an hour after I reached home. That shit is scary. It was like my body died, and I don’t ever want that to happen again. I am going to respect my body and its limitations. I now know my liver, brain and chest better. They communicate to me through electrical signals.
Big basket asked me today if I believe in magic. I said no, because I am skeptical of all them corporate behemoths. Be it Tata or Birla. I view them with utmost scrutiny. My reasoning? Nothing. I actually like Tata products. I don’t own a Land Rover, but I’m sure it drives like a breeze.
I have begun putting my voice out on the internet through an app called Swell. Contrary to what you may think, the app does not enlarge pictures of you. Instead, its a social media app where you post voice messages. You can talk about anything under the sun, but you can’t go over five minutes. It’s like a Twitter for podcasts, except there’s no Elon and cars involved. What makes it interesting is that the comment section is also in the form of voice recordings. So people HAVE TO speak. A nightmare for some, a dating app in the guise of social media app for others. The way people enunciate words is extraordinary. People go all out on the accents. You will hear dialects you never knew existed. Fortunately, I have not come across a channel that exclusively broadcasts fart noises, but now that I’ve put that out into the universe, I’m sure it will get made in no time.