The whole “opposites attract” thing:
Do you think that’s nature’s way of offsetting people’s shortcomings? For example, a short guy is attracted to tall women, or a shy guy attracted to outgoing women. You know what I mean? Or is it just people being curious about other people who are just different from them?
I was browsing Tinder today, and this girl’s profile picture was a KFC bucket. If you’re a company, and you’ve managed to land on someone’s dating profile , that’s how you know you’ve made it.
How to get a healthier body, so that your partner will love you more?
Find someone who has Corona, lick their face.
I used to date someone who believed she had the ability to ‘feel’ everything she touches. By ‘feel’, we’re talking X-men level shit, where she claimed she could ‘live-through’ other people’s experiences. For this specific reason she would buy clothes of dead people. This was great for me because it was during this time that I found definition for my life. Basically, having nothing to do with what she was into, is what my life is all about. Having said that, it was me who got dumped.
I’ve heard people say that some people have the habit of looking at themselves in the mirror everyday, and saying, “I love you”, to themselves, and this somehow creates a positive change in their life. I thought about this, and have come to the conclusion that I will never be able to do it. Just the thought of me looking at myself and saying “I love you”, is nauseating to me. It actually makes me uncomfortable. I don’t know why though. I don’t hate myself, but I don’t love myself either.
Tomorrow, a New Year begins, but let’s be real, nothing is as exciting as my return to the blogosphere. I am the unicorn that shits rainbows. I wish to end today’s post on a positive note: I do not hate everyone on Tinder. Unfortunately, I have to end it here as I fear writing too much might break the internet.
The best is yet to come. I don’t know you. You might be on the verge of a relapse. Hell, you might be considering taking your own life. I don’t give a shit. Your life is going to get better. The universe is asking me to tell you, everything’s going to be okay. Stop living in the past. Try something new. Dabble in some Japanese pornography. Be open to new things. Stop wasting your time on stupid blogs, and get back to doing what you do best. Try harder. Believe in yourself. Have some ice cream. Give the delivery guy a hug. Like this post. Brush twice a day. I love you.
Everytime the food delivery guy messes up, goes to the wrong place, because he decided not to follow the map, I initially go into rage mode, and plan an attack on him via the feedback form. But then, when he finally shows up at my door, drenched in water, wearing his raincoat, all the while smiling, and says , “thank you sir, have a nice day”, my heart just melts. All I want to do at that point is to give him a big hug and cry for a bit. Actually, my instinct is to give him a kiss on the cheek, and a pat on the back, but that would be inappropriate.
To the people who walk through the coaches in a metro, “why?”. What’s so urgent that you have to push people away, and make a divide? What’s waiting for you on the other side? Is it a light at the end of the tunnel? Or is it a loved one who does not exist? Is it the scent of deep fried burgers? Or are you just wandering aimlessly? I know not what your purpose is, lonely traveller, but if I happen to catch you walking by, listening to the radio, I hereby make it known, I will trip you.
Installing a new app is basically like inviting someone new into your life. The only difference is that, an app has to ask for “permission” before going through your contacts or using your camera. People on the other hand, can just turn up and tear your life apart. I am not saying they will. I’m just saying they could.
The year is 2018. You can now report harmful apps. But then, there is also spam and malware. I’m just going to leave it there.
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