love

Reward

Every once in a while when life knocks you down like a mischievous third grader, God comes into my life bearing gifts. My uncle used to do that when his daughter didn’t get along with her cousins. She would rage-quit from time to time by putting the video game in flight mode (she threw the console). Then my uncle would take her out, and buy her toys. At the end of the day we would make up, and I got to play with her toys(is it just me or does ‘toys’ sound increasingly sexual as you get older?). So my point is, life works in mysterious ways. Dark things happen, but then you get darker things in return. Take dark chocolate for example.

This is a new variant from my friends at Lotte. It’s the choco pie with 63% more cocoa. More cocoa than what? The people at Lotte are smart enough to put that on the packaging too. “63% more cocoa than our regular choco pie”. The sincerity in this statement is making me emotional. I grew up in a household where love was withheld for fear of spoiling the children. I felt deceived. For someone like me, a statement so sincere, that too upfront on the the packaging, is overwhelmingly beautiful. The day is not far where I see myself writing love letters to the people at Lotte. Love has to be given back. And I am sure they won’t find it to be gay because I know for a fact that the people working there are woke as fuck.

Two people

Life is a collection of experiences. Some good, some bad. Most of mine has been in the little grey area in between. I don’t really have any friends, and the closest thing I’ve got to a friend is a podcast called Tigerbelly. In it, are these people who slowly turned into my family. Yesterday, the hosts (a couple) announced they are breaking up, and I haven’t felt sadness like this in a very long time. It feels a little weird as I don’t know these people in real life, but as someone who was clinging on to a talk show for friendship, if truly felt devastating. It’s like I am going through my first breakup again. It’s so strange, this thing called a relationship, how it evolves, how it changes people. Life really is a collection of experiences.

Let’s ponder

The whole “opposites attract” thing:

Do you think that’s nature’s way of offsetting people’s shortcomings? For example, a short guy is attracted to tall women, or a shy guy attracted to outgoing women. You know what I mean? Or is it just people being curious about other people who are just different from them?

Valentine thoughts

I used to date someone who believed she had the ability to ‘feel’ everything she touches. By ‘feel’, we’re talking X-men level shit, where she claimed she could ‘live-through’ other people’s experiences. For this specific reason she would buy clothes of dead people. This was great for me because it was during this time that I found definition for my life. Basically, having nothing to do with what she was into, is what my life is all about. Having said that, it was me who got dumped.

I love you

I’ve heard people say that some people have the habit of looking at themselves in the mirror everyday, and saying, “I love you”, to themselves, and this somehow creates a positive change in their life. I thought about this, and have come to the conclusion that I will never be able to do it. Just the thought of me looking at myself and saying “I love you”, is nauseating to me. It actually makes me uncomfortable. I don’t know why though. I don’t hate myself, but I don’t love myself either.

Hold my hand

The best is yet to come. I don’t know you. You might be on the verge of a relapse. Hell, you might be considering taking your own life. I don’t give a shit. Your life is going to get better. The universe is asking me to tell you, everything’s going to be okay. Stop living in the past. Try something new. Dabble in some Japanese pornography. Be open to new things. Stop wasting your time on stupid blogs, and get back to doing what you do best. Try harder. Believe in yourself. Have some ice cream. Give the delivery guy a hug. Like this post. Brush twice a day. I love you.