Visit to the eye doctor

Had to go see the eye doctor today because I sprayed lead in my eye. Life is a mystery, guys. It just keeps getting stranger and stranger. Incase you didn’t know, I am a total social recluse who is working on improving myself. So every opportunity I get to socialise, I force myself to go for it. So I did the most logical thing and hit on two junior doctors at the hospital. Lets just say I got ‘special’ attention because of that. The doctor was really nice. After staring into my soul for a few minutes, she concluded that I had an infection. 

Now that I have disgraced myself, lets move on to the fun part of the story, the part where I make friends. After seeing the doctor I decided to explore that part of the city(this whole incident took place at Salt Lake, Kolkata). Now, I don’t often make friends during my travels because, you know, people are terrifying. But this time, I met some jovial characters that I couldn’t resist making friends with. They were so chill that they didn’t mind me taking pictures of them. In fact, they were happy to hear that I would be writing about them on my blog. Without further ado, here they are.

 

The “whoa there slow down” lion

 

The Grasshoppers

The “whoa there slow down” lion is the golden guardian of the roads. He is a funny guy who shouts funny things like, “If you are in a hurry, drive slower”, “your children would rather see you come home late than see you arrive in a casket”, “sex can wait, spinal cord surgeries cannot”. He was sad to say that out of all the defaulters, Lions club members were the worst. We took a selfie too but I can’t show that here due to legal reasons. Onto the next gang, the merry Grasshoppers. The Grasshoppers are a funk/jazz fusion band. They were on tour. It surprised me to see that they didn’t have a drummer. No offence, they sounded great without one. They explained how the drummer had problems with drug abuse. They said he was particularly fond of something called “grass”, which was pretty ironic because all of them seemed to be made out of … you know… grass.

I need help.

 

 

 

Ruins

There’s nothing more depressing than watching a movie theater close down. Its like watching art die. Now, as to reasons why such places shut shop, there’s obviously no mystery. In most cases, it is the failure to adapt/grow or mismanagement. Maybe theaters have comfort zones too!

 

Metro Cinema, Kolkata

 

Apparently, this one right here was a big deal back in the day. It’s got some pretty interesting history with Metro Goldwyn Mayer. When I first saw this beauty today, my first reaction was to go touch the walls. You see, my ex-girlfriend claimed she had the ability to ‘feel’ places. I know this sounds fucked up. Let’s just say she had a broad definition for ‘feel’ in this case. In order to do this, she would switch over to X-men mode and literally go hug the walls. My immediate reaction to this was, “uh oh… substance abuse”.

So I tried touching the walls,

 

Other than a wifi symbol and a big ass, I wasn’t able to get much from this

I tried touching the ground

Nothing.

Maybe it’s a heightened sense thing or synesthesia. You know, like Looney Tunes.

 

Ray of light

As a social recluse, I am a big fan of peace and quiet. This is one of the main reasons why I like my job. It involves spending quite a lot of time in special noise-free environments known as anechoic chambers. The best thing about working in such environments is that it encourages you to think about life’s most important existential questions like will there ever be a movie as good as Back to the future? or what’s the point of shaving everyday? or why don’t I have any friends? As you can see, my imagination is one of a kind. In order to keep it fresh, I like to visit places that stimulate and relax the brain at the same time.

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One such place is a planetarium. I think everyone needs to visit a planetarium at least once in their lifetime. It has the power to inspire, to awe, and most important of all, to give you an understanding of your place in the universe. I go to my nearby planetarium whenever I feel down and in need of inspiration. When the lights go down and the stars come out my heart starts to race. I am so fascinated  by the unknown that I cannot explain the level of excitement I experience every time I visit the planetarium. It is my escape, my safe place, my one ray of light, my one ray of life.

Valent

No, I didn’t mess up the post’s title.

Valent- Having one or more valences
Valence-The combining capacity of an atom, radical or functional group determined by the number of electrons that it will lose, gain, or share when it combines with other atoms etc.

-Wikipedia

Learning everyday!

Having been dumped well in advance before valentines day, I am one of those lucky people who will be spending the day indoors. Wait a minute…that’s no different from any other day. Anyway… it is the day couples have been waiting for. It is the day for gifts, emotions and several other things that I’m devoid of. For the rest of us, it is the day for awkwardness, packed restaurants, more awkwardness and Black Panther. Woohoo! Thank you Marvel. 

Quick change of topic to escape the depression(cos that’s how I roll now)

Welcome to Jurassic Pa… I mean my weekend adventure to the book fair. You know that feeling you get when you have a lazy Sunday morning at your hands and a sudden urge to sit down and read a really good book comes up? I never get that. I would instead… do anything but that. So why the hell would someone like me go to a book fair you ask? Well first of all, fuck you. Books are for everyone. Secondly, fuck you again. I hate you for asking that. Plus, who could resist going to a book fair when they welcome you in French?

And serve you great food

Kids, this is what adult depression looks like. The letters go up and down. Isn’t it fun?

There’s no better way to describe it. It’s a Disneyland just for the nerds. Instead of waterslides, they have book signings. Instead of rides they have bookstalls. Even though I felt the life slowly drain away from my body, it was nice to see the nerds loose their shit at seeing authors appear like astronauts who just landed from space.

I grew up in one of those households where there was a library ‘inside’ the house. Can you believe that shit? What a waste of space. And my sister, the biggest nerd of all, was like the librarian who also guarded the gates. The moment I enter the room, she would up the security. Mother would step in and offer a hand at pushing me out. So, clearly this goes back to my childhood.

PS: I have nothing against books or nerds. I am a nerd myself but I still like to make fun of them.

 

 

Greening of the mind

I just took some great pictures and wanted to show them to the world. That’s the only reason why I am making this post. I’ve never even heard the phrase “greening of the mind” before. Sounds fantastic.

All along the way I kept asking myself “where have all the dinosaurs gone?”. I still find it difficult to come to terms with the fact we are all living on the very same planet where once the awesome dinosaurs roamed. How cool is that? I don’t know what it is about the colour green. There’s something special about it. I’ve heard people say that we’re mentally programmed to like it or whatever. There’s something mysterious about the colour. To see it on a tree and grass is very different from seeing it on a painting. Now that I’ve gotten used to seeing green on the trees, if for some reason they had to change to some other colour, I would be very displeased. It would just destroy me. Weird.

Nature repairing the damage

 

We need these gigantic “green things” more than we think. I know…all they do is give out oxygen. No big deal.

Conversation

Mind:

I was walking on wet sand when I noticed the water drying up wherever I stepped. It felt very strange. As I walked further I saw bright red crabs running back into their burrows. I have to say their sense of vibration is pretty good! This is where it starts to get weird- I felt sad seeing them run away from me! Questions started to emerge. Do I really belong here? If I do belong here then why is everything running away from me?

Brain:

Good old depression is back! The first thing about water and sand is pure physics. You know that. So stop whining.

Mind:

First of all, fuck you. Second of all, how are you still alive? I thought you were paralysed from all the sleep deprivation I gave you.

Brain:

Yeah about that, we’ll be shutting down tomorrow sometime between 4 and 6. So don’t be in a meeting or whatever. And stop talking to that girl after midnight. Its not worth it. Pretty soon your organs will start to shut down. And by the way, stop eating all that junk before you sleep. I’ve been trying to contact Liver since last week. Dude is not even picking up. And by the way, start talking to people. There are good people out there. Stop being such a whining looser all the time.

Mind:

How dare you you fucking slimy ball of noodles? Wait… you’re right. I’ll take care of it. Hang in there buddy. In the meantime, take a look at these pictures I took. Damn! I am a pro!

 

Henry’s Island, West Bengal

Random adventure

Why upload pictures here? I hate Facebook.

Back to Kerala. Home sweet home.

Kerala’s heavy metal crowd during Pooram Festival. The music is once in a lifetime experience. People go wild.

 

 

 

Trip to Buddhist Temple

The epic adventure begins after I purchase the ticket to enlightenment (in this case a coin).

I arrived at the temple with a feeling of accomplishment. I had used nothing but google maps to get there. As I walked towards the temple I heard the sound of bells ringing. There was a “templish” smell in the air. In my mind, I am thinking about making friends with the good old monks and maybe even do some quiet and peaceful meditation with them. When I get there I see these huge magnificent doors. Only problem- they were closed. It was past the temples opening hours. I requested the security guard to give me a peak into the temple but he was quite stern. So I was banned from entering the temple. Tis the season of bans after all.

Sorry if you came here expecting to see pictures of a Buddhist temple. Life’s not fair. Yeah that’s right. Not to get too philosophical but “The light at the end of the tunnel” gets switched off sometimes for maintenance. But there still is a light and I will visit it some other time. Have an enlightening week. That’s too much usage of the word “light”. Damn the Illuminati. Here are some pictures I took on my way back.

 

 

 

This last picture was not easy to take. It is the one and only picture that was taken during the creation of the universe. Wonder why the creator is wearing a helmet.

This is going to be dark. Relax. They are not going to haunt you through my blog. They prefer movies over blogs for that purpose.

Tombs of Park Street Cemetery, Kolkata

 

Captured some colorful sights during my evening walk.