death

The dead cousin prayer

Holy fuck, it’s been 5 years. Your cute little daughters are taller now. One of them looks just like your mom. The elder one is doing unbelievably well in school. Can you believe this shit? Your daughter! Getting straight A’s! In what world did you imagine your offspring doing well in school? Lol. She’s making everyone proud. She reminds me so much of you. It’s like a clone, but smarter! Your sister on the other hand, doesn’t talk to me anymore, so that balances out the familial relations. I really really wish you were here ūüė¶ Oh! and happy birthday.

Contact

My mom once jokingly told me that she and my sister are fascinated by the idea of trying to establish contact with the dead, using “magic”. When she told me this, I realized how much she misses my dad. I thought to my self, “it could have been much worse. This isn’t that bad. Its just harmless witchcraft”. But after watching that movie “Hereditary”, FUCK NO. ¬†

I don’t believe in this shit. I am not that kinda guy. If I get an email saying “you have won a free astrology session with world renowned astrologer, Dr. Dolittle”, my first reaction would be to contact my email provider and tell them their spam filter is a piece of shit.

The day the internet stood still

Have you ever had one of those days where you come back home to find there’s no internet, and you don’t know what to do? While you stand there in the darkness(2018 synonym for offline) trying not to panic and act like everything is cool, you tell yourself ,”huh!. No internet. Not a problem. I have thousands of other things to do”. You contemplate visiting the neighbours for a moment and realize you don’t even know their names. That’s when you remember an old friend called ‘book’ that you never finished reading. You wipe the dust off ‘A brief history of time’, written by Stephen Hawking, and admire the smiling face on the front cover. That’s when it hits you, “oh shit! Stephen Hawking is dead!”. Then you turn real sad.

Death of people like Mr Hawking is what you call an actual catastrophe. Do you know why? Because we do not know what we have lost. We have no idea what these people could have given mankind if they had lived longer. What if we had the technology to make a copy of his conscience? Would he allow that? Would he be wary of the consequences of doing such a thing? Who knows if it will be used for good or evil? Probably evil. But a lot of good too, I think.

I salute you Mr. Hawking, for showing us the awesome power of determination, and inspiring even the dumbest of people like myself. Although disabled, you had a pretty good run here on Earth. Cummon! Not every movie gets picked to win an Oscar, and one of them is a movie about you! I know it’s quite late to say this but, goodbye Mr. Hawking.

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Inspiration to write

You know when’s the best time to write? When you’re drunk and you don’t care about spelling, well, unless autocorrect is tuned on. Creativity just flows like molten lava. Also, it really helps if your dog died. Then you get that extra boost/pressure to write. I call it depressure. Get it? depression+pressure? Anyway, I think I’ll go back to staring at the wall now. Oh almost forgot! I climbed a hill last weekend. Here’s a picture.

 

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Kolakham, West Bengal

 

Have a good weekend!

Goodbye

I can’t believe I’m writing about this on this fucking stupid blog. My dog died, everybody. My dog is dead. I don’t have anyone else to talk to. So I am going to rant for a bit and¬† then cry, like a man.

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This happy little girl came into my life seven years ago. We had a lot of fun. We ran together, we scared people together, we ate together. However, a few years later, I moved out of the family home, went to college, got a job and could never again find time to spend with her. Wow! I’ve never really hated myself like this before. Holy shit! This is some next-level pain. I feel like something is crushing my heart. I feel a weight on my chest. I can’t end on this sad note. Here’s my message to you.

If there’s people you love, do yourselves a favour and give them a big, gigantic, super-hug and never let go. Do it now. RIGHT NOW! Hug them to the point where they’re like, “get off me weirdo”. Do this, not because “nothing lasts forever”, but because these are the moments that do last forever. Thank God for beer.

What happens to engineers after they die?

It’s simple really. Before I reveal the answer, here’s a little backstory. Lets rewind to a few minutes before the engineer’s death. The engineer realises that everything he’s learnt, everything he’s experienced, everything he loved may soon be lost forever. This brings immense sadness to the inventor’s gentle heart. However, he remembers all the great scientists and YouTube videos about multiverses and the law of conservation of energy. This reignites the fire of curiosity in him for one last time. Our engineer has now successfully converted fear into curiosity. He is now curious to know what happens after death. This gives him the courage to meet death head on. However he starts to wonder why this shit is taking too long. Soon he realises that he can’t think properly and his memory is starting to fade. He can’t remember his favourite song. He cant remember any songs. He thinks to himself, “Oh well. I hope I get to meet dad at least”. He starts to find it difficult to breathe. Now he knows the time is near. So he opens his eyes for one last time, takes a look around the empty room and then slowly closes it with a smile on his face. 

And then nothingness…

Oh common! You didn’t think that would be the end of it did you? That was too dark to accept!

The engineer wakes up from bed with tears rolling down his eyes and hopes it to god that the wetness in the pants are also tears. He jumps up from bed in astonishment only to hear his lame ass room mate yell “will you turn off that damn alarm? Don’t you have a job?” to which he gracefully replies “I JUST DIED YOU MOTHERFUCKER”. 

I wish I knew what happens after death. I think death is the only thing in the world that can put a limit on imagination. I just thought the title was really cool! 

Cryogenic preservation of humans

 

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The first thing that comes to mind when I think about this¬†is Captain America waking up from the hospital bed! It is going to be super weird to wake up after so many years. I am neither against this practice¬†nor for it but I am extremely curious about it. In a way, I am slightly scared of the idea. What if after death, we are actually meant to wake up someplace better? What if we get pulled from that reality when brought back to life here? That would suck wouldn’t it? There is also the question of “are we doing the right thing by spending so much money to do this?”. The money could instead be used to better someone else’s life. Having said all of this, wouldn’t it be awesome to live again? To get a second chance? To see¬†what happens to the world? To say hello to the more “evolved” humans? Damn that will be embarrassing though! What if you wake up and the first thing you hear is “Power’s out for good¬†bro. Better wake up and get your shit together!” or “oh shit! sorry bro! I was trying to charge my phone. I’ll plug you right back in” or even worse”Oh my god! Kill that ugly thing!”.