Most buffets are designed to confuse people so that they either end up eating nothing, or they end up eating a lot of the cheap food.
When you hit 30, you gotta start watching what you eat man. Now, I know I sound like a fitness blog right now but it’s the truth. Either that or you have to work out out like crazy. Or you need to have, what I like to call a Ferrari lifestyle, which is just a another name for an active lifestyle. You shove in whatever you want and then burn it to smithereens.
The quarantine is taking its toll on me. I keep feeling for tremors, because in my head, the Earth is going,”where did all the humans go? Did that shit actually kill these motherfuckers? Bruh! I think it’s time to restart the tectonic plate movement, and this time it’s going to be all islands”.
Chilli peppers can prevent fatal heart attacks. Did you know that guys? That’s what the e-mail said. So it has to be true.
I ate the green chilli that came with the biryani. It’s true what they say about chilli. I feel like a real man now. My voice has deepened, eyes are watering, beard’s growing faster. It’s either this or a stroke. Speaking of eyes watering, I watched Ellen Degeneres cry on Netflix yesterday. It was nice.
I felt sick after leaving from work. Felt like throwing up. So I had an egg roll, extra oily. Funny how they taste saltier in the summer.
I spent an afternoon at a monastery, with very calm, friendly monks. I sat with them, discussed life, politics and Lady Gaga. I ate soya bean, rice, tofu, spinach, carrots, beat, noodles and corn. I felt my stomach try to reject all that vegetarian goodness, probably because it wasn’t used to pure vegetarian food.
I am now on twitter. My handle is @randomthoughtbe
Come say hi.
You know how, when you have a fever, someone asks you to try eating something that you’ve never tried before, like a weird combination of food like bread and bananas, or rice flakes with sugar, and you feel like a whole new world has opened up for you, so you make the smart decision to eat that for the rest of your life, and you stock up your fridge with said food, only to realize the following week that you absolutely hate that food?
Today I stumbled upon something called Foie gras on the internet.
Wikipedia defines it as-
A luxury food product made of the liver of a duck or goose that has been especially fattened. By French law, foie gras is defined as the liver of a duck or goose fattened by force-feeding corn with a feeding tube, a process also known as gavage.
Here’s one more reason why we humans are still classified as “animals” rather than something progressive like “The engineers” or “The centurions”. I mean, I love meat but common man! What’s next? Camel dick? If any Foie gras lover finds this post offensive, consider this an open invitation to email me your place of choice to meetup. I will fight you. Wait a second, for a moment I thought this was Reddit. Sorry for the aggressive behaviour.
This meal was consumed in one sitting, at my glorious bachelor pad, while watching a YouTube video on how to design airport runways. Some people might say that I’ve hit a new low, but I beg to differ. It depends on how you look at it. For example, if you completely avoid looking at the screen and listen to this amazing piece I recorded the other day, you would say I’m a success.
On the other hand, if you prefer to judge people based on their eating habits, you my friend, have hit a new low.
Everyone knows you have to be very careful while walking into a teenager’s room unannounced, because you never know what you might run into. One would hope that you mature with age. But when I walked in on my colleague chewing on this shit, I couldn’t help but pause for a moment.
It made me think about the weird ways some people find pleasure in doing the strangest things. What is it about human nature that finds it amusing to torture yourself to a point where, pure, eye-watering pain turns into pleasure? I know we are a species of explorers, one that strives to break barriers and reach new horizons but, dude! What are you trying to do? Cook your tongue?