Navigating through the public

There’s no beating around the bush with this. I tried Omegle. And….it’s interesting. Useless, but interesting.

Omegle is a chat site. It’s open to the world. There’s no registration, no nothing. You click, and you’re in. Now, there is a feature to match up with people who have the same interests as you, but naturally I couldn’t find anyone that way because as you know, papa is a unique gem, and no, I did not search for BDSM fanatics. Since it couldn’t find anyone with shared interests, it paired me up with a random stranger, and then it began. 

Stranger: M or F? ( You see kids, the other person is asking me if I am man or a woman. So courteous)

Me: Does it matter? I’m just passing my time, making conversation.

Stranger: Age?

Me: Really dude? What’s the point?

Stranger disconnected

Kids, it was after a few short conversations like these did papa realize that a good 75% of Omegle were horny people (mostly men), paedophiles, instagram models, bots, underage children, religious extremists, and other fun stuff. So what made it interesting you ask?

Well, along the way, I did talk to a few interesting people

1. A fascist who taught me the meaning of the word fascism (that’s how dumb I am), and tried to explain to me how good of a man Adolf Hitler really was. In the end, when he understood that I valued human life more than ideologies, he asked me if I like to masturbate. Would be lying if I said I didn’t see that coming.
2. Someone who wanted to “pretend” to be my father, who in the end, turned out to be a teenager. It was the most hilarious conversation I had in while.
3. The philosopher. Random dude, doesn’t care what you have to say, just kept belting out philosophical one-liners. In the end he said “the rivers run dry with nothingness. I feel the Earth run dry in your consciousness” and left. Talk about mysterious dudes huh?
4. Regular people. Normal folks who just want to pass time without hurting anyone. They were great.

Offensive

So my colleague today was feeling a little upset about his career not taking off like he had planned. So I told him he should join one of them indigenous tribes, and make the tribe people believe that his cock pointed towards prosperity. Now, as I was saying this, I could see his face turning red, so I immediately stopped talking, and gave him a hug (that’s how I diffuse tense situations). Not just any hug, like the kind of hug that girls give guys  at the train station after they haven’t seen them for a while. I would love to top it off with a kiss, but my office folk aren’t quite there yet.

Into the wilderness I go

The reason why I used “wilderness” in the title is not because I trekked through a forest but because I trekked through a forest accompanied by three other human beings, which I normally don’t do. The super-introvert in me could never do such a thing but I did it just to see what it would be like and here’s what I’ve learned.

I’ve heard people say ,”you have to travel with people to really get to know them”. I agree with this. However I really think that you need to get to know people if you really need to get to know them. There’s no easy way to do it. So when I went trekking with a friend, her friend and a local, I learned the real reason why we humans are still classified as “animals” rather than something upper-class like “the engineers” or “centurions” 🙂 . 

Breaking the glass

No jokes in this post. Seriously, no jokes.

When the weekend finally rolled in, I wasn’t feeling well. So I decided to kick back and rest. I ended up not talking to anyone for a whole two days. I didn’t go out either. But then, Sunday night came along and I thought I should probably start cooking. So I cleaned myself up and went outside to get some ‘utensils’. I knew a shop nearby. It had giant glass doors in the front. So you could see everyone inside. I thought to myself, “whoa! that’s a lot of people”. I suddenly felt a little uncomfortable. All of a sudden I didn’t want to go inside. It was like there was an invisible force-field preventing me from getting through. Seeing all those people through the glass doors made me anxious. But it didn’t make sense. I do this all the time. I couldn’t figure out what the problem was. What’s even more fucked up was, when I tried to force myself in, I felt a strange pain inside my head. Like, actual physical pain. This scared me a little. I remember feeling this way only when I experience extraordinary amounts of anxiety. The people inside the store started noticing me. So I thought, “the heck with it”. I pushed the door open and I went inside. I couldn’t look at people’s faces and I didn’t end up buying anything but I felt slightly relieved. 

I’ve learned one big lesson today. Fuck stores. Just get it online. I’m kidding.

If I don’t go out for a long time/interact with people, I forget how to socialize. It won’t happen again.

Return of the dragon

Its back. Fucking social-phobia is back in full swing. Everything was going fine. I was making friends. I was getting better at ‘small-talk’. I was mastering the art of socializing. But now, I’ve lost everything. I’ve been trying to find out what caused the sudden change. I ‘ve narrowed it down to two possible causes:

1. Trip to visit family
2. I got dumped

The trip back home sent me back to my comfort zone. I didn’t have to interact with strangers for one whole week. One week of harmless, friendly, familiar faces has unfortunately done a lot of damage.

And then I got dumped. In her defence, she was right about a lot of things! Anyways… it happened and I’m dealing with it. Fortunately, I now have an old guitar and a long beard to suit my current situation. To make matters worse, things are not looking good at work and my phobias have peaked. The moment I enter my apartment building, I find myself running to my apartment for fear of bumping into neighbours along the way. I had two panic attacks during the flight back from home. I couldn’t do anything else but play this track on repeat:

What I am trying to say is… life is not great at the moment but I do have my own ways of dealing with this sort of thing. Here are a few:

1. I find the weirdest things to be uplifting. This animated short by the dudes at Dolby makes me happy(headphones recommended):

2. This amazing blog

http://nolightwithoutdarkness.com/2017/12/27/how-im-coping-with-social-anxiety/

3. This awesome person

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikola_Tesla

4. This exciting place

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acharya_Jagadish_Chandra_Bose_Indian_Botanic_Garden