Travel

Floating market

Being the adventurous go-getter that I am, I paid a visit to the “floating market” on Sunday. The idea of the floating market is simple. Basically, you pay extra to buy groceries from boats. It kind of makes sense. There’s no entry fee. So you get to enjoy the sights for free, if you want to.

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The Floating Market, Kolkata

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My sole purpose of visiting the market was to chill, like this guy.

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The hunt for bass, deep thunderous bass

What’s the problem with looking for musicians on the internet?

Well… lets put it this way. It’s just like using Tinder. You never know what you are going to get. This person might say something online and it might be a whole different story offline. Even if they have a video or audio clip in their bio, the reality is going to be very different. Because the recording on their profile is rehearsed. Real life is different. Real life is…I wouldn’t say ‘hell’ because I really like my life right now. Challenging, challenging is the right word. Real life is challenging, and exciting. Plus, people on the internet, you know, could kill you(no offence). Now, since ending up dead is not part of the plan, I stay away from online ‘friends’. I am in no way discouraging people who look for ‘people’ online. There is tons of talent out there on the internet. I hear miracles happen. In fact, so many people have found success this way. Its just that, I have oddly specific interests that I don’t think other people can relate to. The internet is supposed to make it easier, I know, but when it comes to music, its complicated. The internet is awesome. So you do you!

So I set sail tomorrow morning to meet the lord of bass. He was introduced to me by the bassist of my old band. It’s pretty ironic because the bassist of the old band was in a way, responsible for the band’s demise. Well, I guess he made up for his motherfuckery by giving me a bassist. Anyway, I meet the lord of bass tomorrow. He seemed like a nice dude over the phone. Hope it stays that way in real life. Well, I suppose my outgoing nature and general love of social interactions should take care of that(sarcasm).

Side note: I quit Tinder today. Fuck this shit. I don’t know what the moral is here. Real life is more exciting than virtual life? Deadpool will be in theatres 16th of May? I really don’t know. Here’s a sight from Kolkata from the waist-down (because filming people’s faces is a douchebag-move).

https://www.flickr.com/photos/161500428@N03/shares/B9T9Wc

Hunt for the guitar hero begins

The epic quest to find the ultimate guitar god began yesterday. Over the weekend, I made a few calls to a few musician-friends to get some advice on how to go about this whole ‘starting a band’ thing. I got the best advice from a very good friend I met at a guitar-solo competition (read about it here) a while ago. He said, “if you have a clear idea of what exactly you want to do, then you don’t have to be afraid to do it by yourself. You might have to put some time, energy and money into it. But at the end you’ll know if you are on the right track. So if you can’t find people to play ‘with’ you, find people who can play ‘for’ you. Eventually, things will pan out and you’ll meet the right people along the way”. Kids, this is why you need to have friends.

So on Monday, after work, I took a bus to meet up with a friend who I met at a concert a while ago. Dude’s a videographer. I know. Not a guitarist. But I thought he could give me some tips. AND HE DID!!! This is what I learned from the long interaction I had with him. It’s one thing to have the ability to explain your idea to others and create enthusiasm and excite them (like that part in the movie Jobs, where Steve Jobs convinces the CEO of Pepsi to join his company. But it’s a whole other thing to actually show them some of your creations. And believe me when I tell you this. It creates a lasting impression on the person when you actually, physically show them what you are capable of. I realized this when the videographer showed me some of his work. I mean, he hadn’t done a lot of shoots or anything, but the clip he showed me was enough to give me an idea of what he was capable of. I understood that he’s not a big fan of the traditional music-video- camerawork(I am of the same mind-set). So an idea came up and I said, “maybe we should work together on a percussion-based project”. Boom! magic! So basically we talked and talked and talked while his girlfriend kept calling him mercilessly. At the end of the day, it went well. We spent about two hours eating the worst French fries in the world and talking about music, artists, video, cameras, dolly tracks, all that good stuff. So I can safely conclude by saying that yesterday was a success. I dunno. I feel like somewhere along the way I’ll be able to make use of this person’s skills.

 

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winner of 2018 high definition picture award

 

A letter to my liver

Hello there my old friend. I hope things are better now. I hope you haven’t turned black or anything. Despite living together for 27 years, I still don’t know you that well. Granted, I never took you seriously until the doc warned me of ‘abnormalities’, which freaked me the fuck out. I had no clue I was literally killing you, back in college. I didn’t realize all that pizza and beer, and waking up at random places would take a toll on you. Mmm…pizza and beer. Anyway… It’s Friday night…again! Soo many reasons to celebrate!  i) I didn’t get fired

ii) I Joined the gym

iii) A mountaineering expert has agreed to accompany me to the hills of Nepal. Although something as small as crossing a road causes her to gasp for breath, she seems legit. 

So, this Friday night, I have mixed feelings because I am devoid of three things: friends, alcohol and liver disease. Anyway…who needs alcohol when you could be playing this all night long?

 

Museum of metal wonders

I went to an Archiological Museum. Did I spell that right? Archeology-cal? Archaeoloji. Ar…Ar… Anglican. Anyway… this museum had some unusual stuff in it. I reached the museum quite late. It was about to close. So, a security guard was assigned to guide/nag me through the entire museum. As you all know, I take my museum visits very seriously. So I explicitly stated that the guard maintain a distance of exactly three metres away from me at all times. Why ‘three’ you ask? Well, that’s none of your business. As soon as the receptionist understood that I had difficulty speaking Bengali, she began to shoot questions in English. “Are you South Indian? Where do you stay here? What did you have for dinner yesterday? What’s your blood type?”. You know…the usual stuff. I mean, she was very attractive. That’s probably why I panicked. After a short, uncomfortable conversation, I began the tour with my personal bodyguard.

There were extremely old paintings and pottery(7-14 century). Just as I was about to finish viewing the ground floor, motherfucker(guard) started to blow a damn whistle(probably to ask me to leave). Another guard heard this whistle and started to blow his own whistle. Within a few seconds, the whole fucking museum was whistling. I could see birds fly away from the roof. Motherfuckers were disturbing the wildlife.

As soon I got to the first floor, I knew it was a different scene. You see, there were these sculptures made of metal, kept in glass housings. They were sculpted in the 9th century. I hadn’t seen anything like it before. Figures sculpted with unimaginable level of detail and yet so tiny and realistic. That was not the impressive part. The figures were not of people or animals, rather it looked like something that was taken straight out of a Stephen King movie. There was a figure with an elephant’s head and a slim guy’s body(It had nothing to do with religion). It was holding a walking stick. It had a hunchback. It looked like it was dying. Then there were snakes, dragons and warriors that looked like trees, stuff that I have never seen or could have imagined. I was awestruck.

How could somebody think of that? How wild does ones imagination have to be to make something like that? Where did he get the idea from? Did an alien put it in his mind? Did he dream of it in his sleep? Did his day-to-day life affect the design of the sculpture in any way? Did his family approve of him spending so much time making figures that made no sense to common people? What was going on in his mind when he made it? How was he able to put an ‘idea’ into a sculpture? Does the sculpture mean something? So many questions.

I don’t have any pictures of the metal wonders because pictures were prohibited inside the museum. And I can respect that. All I have is a picture of a tree, from the museum’s garden.

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The metal wonders will always live inside my head. I do not need pictures of them.

On an unrelated note, I got a keyboard. Today is Day 4 with new keyboard.

Side note: I do not know how to play the keyboard.

Facing challenges

On April 28th, 2014, I fell in the toilet. At the time, I was living in a shared accommodation, while studying for my Masters. My roommates were quite the exciting bunch. There was a strange guy from Greece who was in his 40’s. He taught economics to PhD students. Then there was the guitar-player/loner from the U.K. who studied film and media. Lastly, there was a petroleum engineering student from China. Dude was from Shanghai and he had the best stories. The only time we would all hang out together was when there were meetings to discuss maintenance of the flat. For example, who was going to clean the toilet next. I made it a point to skip these meetings because as you all know, I belong to the upper class (sarcasm guys, sarcasm). However, one time, an emergency meeting was called because the shower drain got clogged with pubic hair. The economics guy was furious. He wanted to get to the bottom of this. I suggested DNA testing, to which the loner said “oh you’re definitely going to find my DNA in there. But its not the hair”. As we desperately tried to erase that picture from our heads I came to the realization that all of them were quite angry with me already for not taking the turn to clean the bathroom.

At times, life poses great challenges, guys. It is our job to scrape up the dog shit and fling it back at life’s face. So I finally decided to step up and be a man. I grabbed some tissues and floor cleaner, prayed to Isaac Newton and just went for it. After I had finished, I was in the mood for some fun. So I locked the bathroom door, whipped out my… phone and proceeded to play Temple run. A while later, I heard a knock on the door. It was the engineer. He said,” while you are at it, can you also get the cobwebs on the ceiling?”. Remember guys, I was determined to fling dog shit at life’s face. So I stood up on the toilet and started to clean the ceiling. But to my dismay, I slipped and…you can guess the rest of it.

Visit to the eye doctor

Had to go see the eye doctor today because I sprayed lead in my eye. Life is a mystery, guys. It just keeps getting stranger and stranger. Incase you didn’t know, I am a total social recluse who is working on improving myself. So every opportunity I get to socialise, I force myself to go for it. So I did the most logical thing and hit on two junior doctors at the hospital. Lets just say I got ‘special’ attention because of that. The doctor was really nice. After staring into my soul for a few minutes, she concluded that I had an infection. 

Now that I have disgraced myself, lets move on to the fun part of the story, the part where I make friends. After seeing the doctor I decided to explore that part of the city(this whole incident took place at Salt Lake, Kolkata). Now, I don’t often make friends during my travels because, you know, people are terrifying. But this time, I met some jovial characters that I couldn’t resist making friends with. They were so chill that they didn’t mind me taking pictures of them. In fact, they were happy to hear that I would be writing about them on my blog. Without further ado, here they are.

 

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The “whoa there slow down” lion

 

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The Grasshoppers

The “whoa there slow down” lion is the golden guardian of the roads. He is a funny guy who shouts funny things like, “If you are in a hurry, drive slower”, “your children would rather see you come home late than see you arrive in a casket”, “sex can wait, spinal cord surgeries cannot”. He was sad to say that out of all the defaulters, Lions club members were the worst. We took a selfie too but I can’t show that here due to legal reasons. Onto the next gang, the merry Grasshoppers. The Grasshoppers are a funk/jazz fusion band. They were on tour. It surprised me to see that they didn’t have a drummer. No offence, they sounded great without one. They explained how the drummer had problems with drug abuse. They said he was particularly fond of something called “grass”, which was pretty ironic because all of them seemed to be made out of … you know… grass.

I need help.