It’s raining, it’s dirty, and I have stuff to say. I just watched IT chapter 2 and it got me thinking. Do irrational childhood fears really stay with you for the rest of your life? I know we forget about all of it, but do we really? I mean, how the hell are clowns supposed to be funny? When I look at a clown, I see an underpaid human being dying inside. They might actually be happy people, but that’s just the way I choose to view them. Maybe my eyes seek out pain even in laughter. Maybe they seek out bright colours. Maybe I am the clown.
News spread far and wide, about the birth of two little boys, two little boys of Mr. John Smith, named Casio and Deadpan Johnson. Casio was the quiet one. He knew what he wanted. He mostly kept to himself. He was very picky, very precise, very calculative. Although he did not do well with other kids at school, he helped them with Meth…I mean Math. He was last seen on a swing in school. Now, Deadpan Johnson is who the story is really about. Big guy, with big needs. Very money-minded. Did not get along with the family. When the boys lived with their father, Deadpan never ate dinner with the family, instead, he would eat at a temple.
16 years flew by. Rumours of a young man who resembles Casio came from far far away, from a distant continent. Today, is the 4th of February, 1998. Deadpan is tying his shoe laces to travel to Japan…
I thought about what to write today. It was either complaints about long ass ads on Youtube, or loneliness. Then I realised how the two topics are deeply related.
How about a random picture?
When the people of the woods saw a light approaching from above, they put out the fire, and head to their huts, everyone but the huntsmen. They blended into the trees, more silent than the leaves, where they waited to face the horror. The blue light came closer, lowered into the trees, and then vanished. The huntsmen gripped their bows tighter, as there was complete silence in the woods. A rustle of leaves was heard dangerously close to the dying fire. Unfortunately for the huntsmen, what could not be seen with their eyes was very much visible to their loyal dogs, which is why a young hunter let out a faint gasp of despair when his four legged friend broke his leash, and bolted towards the dying fire.
Man, I love the Predator.
This morning I woke up and started to write down shit, no filter, anything that came to my mind, even if they were just words, and then I looked at it. I know this sounds like some real hippy shit that doesn’t make any sense but, it was like getting introduced to a whole different person, someone more dumber than I am, and that makes me happy.
The good news is that the “Chrome” I’m referring to is not a nickname for drugs. I’m referring to the internet browser. I used to be the kid with all the cool apps. One app to view YouTube videos, another app to download them, yet another app to rip the audio from them. Not anymore. Big boy loves simplicity now. I don’t like clutter on any of my devices(this is really starting to sound like a Google ad). I use Edge on my PC. That’s it. Not Chrome, not Mozilla, just Edge. Boring, old, simple, Edge. I use Chrome on my phone, not Edge, and definitely not that Opera shit(faster, safer, my ass). Am I living in my own bubble by doing this? Nah. I don’t think so. I’m just happy with stock apps.
Unfortunately, that all changed today. I had it with Edge. It was giving me so much trouble, that I just had to install Chrome. Here’s the problem with Edge. I run into problems when I visit some questionable websites, namely WordPress(Ah! The irony, or some shit like that). To name a few:
- The font would turn red. This is not a joke. The fucking font on WordPress would turn red, and stay that way until I restart the browser. Talk about some bloody mysterious shit.
- Browsing WordPress would use up all of my computer’s memory. That’s right. Reading blogs about social anxiety would use up 8 gigs of RAM. I can’t afford a therapist for my laptop.
- Typing words at the end of a sentence would replace words at the beginning of the sentence. Look, I realize I’m coming off pretty delusional right now. I realize that. But this shit actually happens to me. Me! Out of all the great writers on WordPress, the internet-demons chose to fuck with me. I’m not a writer. I don’t even read books. The last time I tried reading a novel, I forgot what it was about, halfway into the book. So I decided to fuck it and watch the movie instead. Having said that, I now have a whole new level of appreciation for books. That shit really hits the heart. I still hate them though.
After reading about climate change in the paper today, I decided to take a nap on my chair, my head resting on the study table. As the circulation of blood to the head slowly began to drop, I began to dream. Since I don’t remember anything from the dream, I am going to end this post abruptly with a quote from the fat guy from The Simpsons.
“It’s so simple to be wise… just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it”. Have a nice day. Merry Christmas.