I am now taking walks everyday after work at a park nearby. As you can imagine, there are people at the park, and I have to come face to face with people almost every few seconds. This is exposure therapy. Papa don’t like people looking at him, but little by little, I am getting comfortable looking at people’s faces or not looking at people’s faces, and just walking by. There is a 30% chance I might make a friend or two. So this walking is taking care of my Cholesterol, I think. I feel healthier, and I love seeing my strong legs. Speaking of strong legs, I am now watching the documentary on Jeffrey Dahmer. It certainly is not as gripping as the series, and I noticed something interesting. The documentary focuses more on the story of the murders. The series does a better job of showing how he turned out the way he is. I think that is important. If there’s anything to learn from this, I think it’s the reasons behind the making of a serial killer that is of most importance.
After reading another blog, I got intrigued on the effects of sugar, and I read an article about it and holy fuck. I need to cut down on the sugar intake somehow. 36 grams of added sugar a day is the limit. Can you believe that shit? 36 grams! I think I get 36 grams from breathing Kolkata air.
My medication is starting to cost me quite a bit every month. That, plus the doc’s consultation fees, phew. I hope I can claim a tax deduction. Thank god for online pharmacies. Apart from pretty descent discounts, Tata 1mg has a doorstep blood collection facility that is easy to book. I tried it for the first time last month, and the guy arrived on the dot. At sharp 6 am he arrived in a spacesuit. No unnecessary chit chat. He pricked me, and then he left (that’s what she…eew).
Non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD) is the name of the bitch who’s out to get me. There is no treatment for this. The only thing one can do to try and control this disease is…
Low fat diet
So I came up with a few more innovative expansions for NAFLD
Nothing but a fucking load of dicks
National football league disaster
No ant-eater food allowed
Nice ass faulty liver too bad
Newton’s apple force for little dicks
Nosy aunt’s foot loose syndrome
A healthy diet of oil, bread and cheese, over the course of two months have resulted in a net weight-loss of 15 Kg. No, it’s not cancer. I have to admit that this was accompanied by a daily routine of intense one-hour workouts while listening to Queen (I will explain in a later post how listening to Queen can help improve the production of hormones). Let’s just say some serious chiseling has taken place. I look like Picasso. Like, I literally look like him. Google it (not the young one). No offense.
It’s all about quantity, people.
Chilli peppers can prevent fatal heart attacks. Did you know that guys? That’s what the e-mail said. So it has to be true.
As a meat enthusiast, I tend to overlook, basically everything that is healthy. So this is my journey into the art of fruit-eating, after moving to North India. When I think about having a fruit, the first thing that comes to mind is a mango, because lets be honest, a mango is what paradise tastes like, not an apple, that shit sucks. But here’s the thing about mangoes. You have to pick the right one, there are so many, unnecessary kinds of mangoes out there. You have to wash it, peel it. You have to make sure there are no worms in it. Such a waste of time. I’m talkin, “raising a child”, kind of effort to eat a mango. Think about it. With all the time and energy you’ve wasted eating mangoes, you could have easily raised a child. I know…I’m blowing your mind right now. This is why I don’t have any friends. Anyway, my life changed the other day when I tried these
They are called lychees. I know, everyone knows. They taste like fruit from an alien planet. Remember that scene in Avatar, where the guy tastes the alien fruit for the first time? The movie sucked bigtime but the fruit was kickass. I imagine it would have tasted something like this. What blew my mind is, there’s no work involved in eating these things. You make a crack in the shell and then pop it into your mouth. Then enjoy as paradise melts. Now, guys, isn’t that the way life is supposed to be? Simple and satisfying? Am I asking for too much here? So kids, what I’m really trying to say is, a lychee is still a great tasting fruit without all the complexities. Be like lychee.
Hello there my old friend. I hope things are better now. I hope you haven’t turned black or anything. Despite living together for 27 years, I still don’t know you that well. Granted, I never took you seriously until the doc warned me of “abnormalities”, which freaked me the fuck out. I had no clue I was literally killing you, back in college. I didn’t realize all that pizza and beer, and waking up at random places would take a toll on you. Mmm…pizza and beer. Anyway… It’s Friday night. Soo many reasons to celebrate!
i) I didn’t get fired
ii) I Joined the gym
iii) A mountaineering expert has agreed to accompany me to the hills of Nepal. Although something as small as crossing a road causes her to gasp for breath, she seems legit.
So, this Friday night, I have mixed feelings because I am devoid of three things: friends, alcohol and liver disease. Anyway…who needs alcohol when you could be playing this all night long?
Once, I joined an after-school programme for athletics training. It was during that time that my PE teacher encouraged me the most. He said,” Run away Curiosity, run away, and never return”. Wait…that’s Lion King. Anyway… it was good advice.
I went to the gym today. Took a picture with it in the background for old times sake. Then came back home.
I need to make changes to my life
My lifestyle needs to be changed
Changes need to be made to my life
Life has to change
I’m a fucking poet. Woohoo!