My favorite comedian just admitted to masturbating in a hotel swimming pool. 

When I was a kid, mom and dad used to take us out to eat, and I would do this thing where, at the end of the meal, I would mix up all the condiments on the table and put them in one container (the tiny bottles they keep on the table, I don’t know what the fuck they’re called). Like, I would take the pepper bottle, mix it with some salt, and then pour some vinegar into it. To this day, I think about it. I think about all the people whose meals I fucked up. I laugh about it, but deep inside there’s a little bit of regret. And now this.


  1. Louis C.K.? Artie Lang? No matter. My favorite comedian recently apologized for using blackface in an episode of The Sarah Silverman Program. So now you know who my favorite (living) comedian is.


    1. Wow! They’re really raising the bar these days huh? I still remember an episode of Startalk with her and Jim Gaffigan. It was unbelievable. Their wit combined with Neil deGrasse Tyson’s mind blowing revelations was a treat to watch.


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