While coming back from work today, I saw a hand pop-up from a crowd on the sidewalk, signalling the auto-rickshaw to stop. It was just me and a lady in the rickshaw. There was room for one more. So the driver pulled over. As the person emerged from the crowd, the driver realized that this person is a little overweight. The driver looked at her and boom! just took off before she got in. Now kids, this is where you should go,” hey asshole, stop the damn rickshaw and let her in. I’ll sit in the front seat”(this is allowed here. I don’t know why, but yes, it is allowed), but I didn’t say anything. I just sat there with words stuck inside my head, trying not to make eye-contact with anyone for fear of “conversation”. Kids, I am what they call, a pussy. But I’ll tell you one thing for sure. This won’t happen again. Yeah that’s right. Testosterone is gonna erupt the next time I see this happen 🙂 .
The year is 2000. I’m siting on the floor, watching my sister watch MTV. I look at her face. There’s no reaction. I look at the TV. I see the MTV logo with the big, orange “M” flash on the screen. Then I see a backstreet boys dance to “backstreet’s back”. Sister and I begin to jump around and dance. Good times.
Fast forward to today. I am at the gym, being careful not to make eye contact with anyone for fear of “conversation”. VH1 is playing on the TV. A Bruno Mars song is playing. Suddenly, the song ends and a weird show begins. In this show, they basically talk about celebrities.
- Who’s dating who
- Who just got a divorce
- Who just got pregnant
- What do you think Meghan Markle should wear to the “big event”?
And I thought to myself, “holy shit!. I miss TV!”. Just kidding. It just made me happier about not having cable TV at home. Don’t get me wrong. They still play great music! It’s the other parts that I don’t get.
You order takeout. That’s what you need to do. Or go to your favourite restaurant and eat till you have to loosen your belt. Because you deserve it. You earned it. You can trust me (I can cut my own hair). Also, while you are at it, try to learn from your mistakes, you know, that sort of thing. My weekend didn’t go that well. Then it dawned on me to eat a nice burger. The very thought of eating my favourite burger was in itself an uplifting experience. In all seriousness though, don’t sweat at the small things. Life is much bigger than that, like a whole fried chicken. Enjoy life/bacon while you can. Also, don’t forget ice cream. That shit is literally happiness in frozen form.
Now, listen to this tasty jam I made
What’s the problem with looking for musicians on the internet?
Well… lets put it this way. It’s just like using Tinder. You never know what you are going to get. This person might say something online and it might be a whole different story offline. Even if they have a video or audio clip in their bio, the reality is going to be very different. Because the recording on their profile is rehearsed. Real life is different. Real life is…I wouldn’t say ‘hell’ because I really like my life right now. Challenging, challenging is the right word. Real life is challenging, and exciting. Plus, people on the internet, you know, could kill you(no offence). Now, since ending up dead is not part of the plan, I stay away from online ‘friends’. I am in no way discouraging people who look for ‘people’ online. There is tons of talent out there on the internet. I hear miracles happen. In fact, so many people have found success this way. Its just that, I have oddly specific interests that I don’t think other people can relate to. The internet is supposed to make it easier, I know, but when it comes to music, its complicated. The internet is awesome. So you do you!
So I set sail tomorrow morning to meet the lord of bass. He was introduced to me by the bassist of my old band. It’s pretty ironic because the bassist of the old band was in a way, responsible for the band’s demise. Well, I guess he made up for his motherfuckery by giving me a bassist. Anyway, I meet the lord of bass tomorrow. He seemed like a nice dude over the phone. Hope it stays that way in real life. Well, I suppose my outgoing nature and general love of social interactions should take care of that(sarcasm).
Side note: I quit Tinder today. Fuck this shit. I don’t know what the moral is here. Real life is more exciting than virtual life? Deadpool will be in theatres 16th of May? I really don’t know. Here’s a sight from Kolkata from the waist-down (because filming people’s faces is a douchebag-move).
- “My life’s mission is to, as an adult, realize all the promises that I made to myself when I was a little kid.”- Casey Neistat
- “I don’t want my poems to be taught to students in a system dominated by pitiable teaching standards and liberal valuations whose only aim is to ensure everyone gets good marks.”- Balachandran Chullikkad
- “To be an inventor, you have to be willing to live with a sense of uncertainty, to work in this darkness and grope towards an answer, to put up with anxiety about whether there is an answer.”- Ray Dolby
Why else would I receive mail about an ‘amazing deal on 4 bras+1 camisole’ on a Friday evening? How did it bypass my rock-solid spam filter? Maybe its a sign. Yup, its a sign from the universe. Time to re-evaluate my gender. I had to google ‘camisole’ for God’s sake. Not bad! Maybe I am a pervert.
Since last week, I’ve been trying to be more ‘adult’ by going to sleep on time and waking up early. Obviously, it didn’t last. So I went to work today, sleep deprived, ready to take on the world. While traveling, my leg felt a little itchy. So I tried scratching it. That’s when things started to feel a little weird. Not only was the itchiness not going away, but I also couldn’t feel my leg. So I slowly began to panic. My bag was on my lap. I tried to feel my knee. I couldn’t feel a thing. At this point I was panicking so much that I put away the bag and I tried to take a look at the leg to see if it was dead. It was quite satisfying to see my hand resting on the person sitting next to me in the bus. My hand was on his leg the whole time. I was touching a stranger. What weirded me out even more was that this dude didn’t even budge the whole time.
I know I am weird, but people are weirder.