Spent a whole a day at home. No contact with the outside world (except for the delivery guy and a brief conversation with a friend over the phone). I am now sitting in front of the computer thinking, “why did this happen?”, or “why does this happen?”. I need to find an answer to this quick, or I feel like this could be a frequent thing. I know it’s not good for health, to stay indoors for such a long time. I know its not good for the brain either. Then why do I do it? What satisfaction do I get out of it? There has to be a really good subconscious reason as to why I do this. I know one thing for sure. I don’t feel that bad at the end of the day, but I do feel bad in the long run. I am outright lazy. I am responsible for my present condition. Tomorrow, it’s back to work.
Work, gym, Youtube
Work, practise, more Youtube
Work, concerts, even more Youtube
And the next weekend will come around with the blink of an eye. Weekend after weekend, days race past me with frightening speed. I can’t get a grip of it.
I got to leave early from work today thanks to a cyclone alert. Have you ever seen those scared/happy faces on people? Its great to watch them run away from their job. Where do they think they’re going anyway? You gotta come back to this shithole anyway. Plus, where are they gonna go? Everyone leaves with the sort of determination like, they’re leaving the country or something. Nobody’s going anywhere. It’s going to be an extra long evening with beer and TV.
My manager (also referred to as “cocksucker” in my other posts), made me work overtime today. Luckily, the task at hand was cinema hall-audio-design, which is what I was BORN TO DO. While working, I realized that I never really left the cinema hall after watching Jurassic Park, back in 1993. I was 3 years old when it came out. But it made such a great impact on me that in my head, I still roam on the island of wonders(and man eaters). Everything we see in the movie emerged out of Steven Spielberg’s imagination. The way the actors talked, the way the dinosaurs moved, the way it rained, was all envisioned and painstakingly crafted by the director. So in a way, all of us got to see how the director’s brain works! We got to see a little bit of his creative mind and his thought process. By broadcasting the movie, he was actually beaming his thoughts to millions of people. How cool is that? Millions of people viewing his mind all around the world. I think it is the most mysterious/awesome type of communication in the word! (I hear people who read books feel the same way about writers. Fuck those nerds and my ADHD)
Since last week, I’ve been trying to be more ‘adult’ by going to sleep on time and waking up early. Obviously, it didn’t last. So I went to work today, sleep deprived, ready to take on the world. While traveling, my leg felt a little itchy. So I tried scratching it. That’s when things started to feel a little weird. Not only was the itchiness not going away, but I also couldn’t feel my leg. So I slowly began to panic. My bag was on my lap. I tried to feel my knee. I couldn’t feel a thing. At this point I was panicking so much that I put away the bag and I tried to take a look at the leg to see if it was dead. It was quite satisfying to see my hand resting on the person sitting next to me in the bus. My hand was on his leg the whole time. I was touching a stranger. What weirded me out even more was that this dude didn’t even budge the whole time.
Have you seen busy-people wake up on a Tuesday morning and immediately check their mail to see if they’ve got anything important, like an appointment with a client or a review-session for a research paper? Well, today morning I got a mail from Domino’s. It said, “we use real cheese”. I said, “okay. I believe you. I’ve never doubted you for a second”. And then I wrote this poem:
Domino’s and me
I like Domino’s
Domino’s likes me
I have liver problems
Domino’s still, likes me
Sometimes the cheese tastes different
But Domino’s likes me
I go to the gym
Domino’s is close to the gym
I work out a lot
Domino’s doesn’t care
3 days of workout= 1 day of Domino’s
Who gives a shit?
Because Dominos, still likes me
Stay tuned for my next one, “I have a dream. A Burger King dream”
This is an update on a prank I’ve been playing on my colleagues for the past one week. I’m sure you’ve read my post about it. If you haven’t already, I kindly request you to stop fucking around and go read it. Appreciate my talent for god’s sake. I work in R&D. I own 3 pairs of headphones. I’m a big deal, is what I’m trying to say.
Anyway, the prank was going great. Today, I got a friend who came over and asked if I was okay. I thought to myself, ” hurray! she’s the funniest of the lot. I am going to get a great response out of her!”. So I gave her the bait.
Me: “Do you ever think about suicide?”.
Me: (in my mind) “oh shit”
Colleague: “I think my parents hate me”
Me: (in my mind) “double shit”
Colleague: “It started ever since that evil sibling of mine was born. My life has been hell after that”
Lets just say things started to get real tense after that. I’m not used to seeing people burst out in tears. So I jumped up and ended the bit quickly. As years pass by, the more I feel like funny people carry a lot of pain. I got really pissed however, when I found out she was pranking me. That’s some ‘fire with fire’ shit right there.
It’s the weekend. This is that part of the week where normal people do normal stuff. You know… go out, meet friends, relax, maybe go on a trip, a weekend getaway, spend time with their family/girlfriend/boyfriend, maybe do something completely opposite like be creative, learn something new, or host an event, work for charity, make someone happy, etc. By now you probably know where this post is going. This post is going to be about how boring my Saturday was and how even more boring my Sunday is going to be. So do yourself a favour and read something else.
To be honest I never expected my weekend to be so boring. It was supposed to be: Super-creative day at work till 3, jam session with the band from 4 to 6, drum practice from 7 to 8 and roam around the city for the rest of the night, maybe get a nice Kebab dinner. What ended up happening was:
All productivity lost
YouTube, Netflix and Subway won. For a moment it looked like Dominos was going to win but thanks to a minimum order requirement, Subway made the cut. All is not lost, is what I am trying to say. So this is what happened…
I got out of work, eager to start working on some sweet hard rock music when I got two texts. One was from the fucking vocalist who all of a sudden decided he has to move to a new place. The other was from the jam-pad saying the drums were being taken out for repairs. It was like being kicked on both the balls. So I stood there, at the intersection, clueless on what to do next. I couldn’t go home because that would make me go crazy. So I did one of those slow-motion, stranger-in-Moscow style walks while contemplating the meaning of life. Then I sat down on a bench and watched busy people go about their day for a whole two hours. It was like that scene in Men in Black where Will Smith gets offered the job of a lifetime and sits down on a bench on the sidewalk deciding whether to go for the interview or not. Well, mine was a little different. I already had the job(fuck yeah). All I needed was some peace of mind. I never realised that observing people was so therapeutic! In that short amount of time I watched the orange sun go down slowly, people rush out of a temple, a woman beat the crap out of her boyfriend, a kid fall into a sewer and a customer mercilessly swear at a Vodafone store employee. Then I went home and ordered food from Subway. That’s how Subway won the healthy food race.
I got a call from a cousin recently. Its one of those cousins that you know, calls once every three or four months to show that he cares and shit. But this time the conversation went a little differently.
How’s everything? How’s work? How long have you been working there? Are you getting paid well? Do you think that’s good enough for you? Wait… let me tell you this before you even answer. No, that’s not good enough for you. You have to aim higher. Why are you not trying? Say hi to mom .Take care buddy!
I think orphans are lucky in certain ways. I have never been bothered by relatives before but this got me thinking. Besides, dude is a pretty awesome engineer himself. So I didn’t want to let it out the other ear. Obviously, there’s no point in writing all of this crap in a blog because ultimately I am the one who needs to wake up and take decisions. For some reason, I think writing helps.
If I keep doing what I like does that make me some kind of a “non-dreamer”? Do you necessarily have to keep switching jobs frequently until you find the best one? I like to call such people “bullet trains”. They don’t pay attention to the little things because the attention is on the main goal. Granted, I don’t get paid well and I hate everyone at work but hey, I love the job! In fact I am sure that I can do much more with it. I have to admit that it has started to feel a bit like a nice cozy comfort zone but that’s just something I’ll have to deal with.
On a lighter note, I got a new apartment
Internet is faster than the rate at which “bullet trains” switch jobs.
Back in school, I never thought about want I wanted to do with my life. I just went with the flow. I liked science and computers. So I studied them. Later on, I decided to focus on electronics. Did not like it very much though. Then came a point where I had to choose between work and study. I chose to study because.. why not? I was extremely lazy and had a rich family. I thought the best thing to do is to use “study” as an excuse and visit another country!
I have always liked music. I am fascinated by sound. So I decided to study it. Apart from studying, I spent most of my time in the student accommodation playing video games and going to the gym.
I rarely went out to visit places or even hang out with my class mates. And guess what? It didn’t feel bad at all. I still don’t regret it. I also learned to cook!
However, I wish I had visited more places. I never knew how much I loved to travel until now.
Now I have a job that I like. But I am worried because I know that I have reached another “comfort zone” in my life. If I don’t wiggle out of this, I might end up being miserable. I know I can do more but it feels so nice to wrap a blanket around myself and just rest peacefully forever while my brain erodes.
I need to be creative. I need to do something new. But how? The path used to be unclear but now it feels like there are obstacles too.
As of now I don’t have anything completely new on my mind. So my best option is to be more creative at the job that I already have! I know it sounds boring but to me, it makes sense. I have to rise from the rubble and try something new. Coming up with a new idea is quite the challenge and requires a lot of hard work. Maybe I have to follow my instincts on this one.
……….and maybe one day the path will reveal itself.
Don’t you just hate it when a perfect vacation comes to an end? It feels like all the happiness you gained in a few days gets taken away in just one day!
I went home to visit my family. I got 10 days of pure happiness with friends and family. I also travelled a bit .Sadly, all of it has come to an end and I am now back in my miserable bachelor pad far, far away from home. There is no place like home.
Well, its not as bad as going back to school! Damn! I hated school! All I have to do now is work hard. This is what I’ve been telling myself ever since I got back-“It doesn’t matter if you are alone. You have a great job. You can work harder and get a better job, visit amazing places and get a better life”.