I gave in to Chrome

The good news is that the “Chrome” I’m referring to is not a nickname for drugs. I’m referring to the internet browser. I used to be the kid with all the cool apps. One app to view YouTube videos, another app to download them, yet another app to rip the audio from them. Not anymore. Big boy loves simplicity now. I don’t like clutter on any of my devices(this is really starting to sound like a Google ad). I use Edge on my PC. That’s it. Not Chrome, not Mozilla, just Edge. Boring, old, simple, Edge. I use Chrome on my phone, not Edge, and definitely not that Opera shit(faster, safer, my ass). Am I living in my own bubble by doing this? Nah. I don’t think so. I’m just happy with stock apps.
Unfortunately, that all changed today. I had it with Edge. It was giving me so much trouble, that I just had to install Chrome. Here’s the problem with Edge. I run into problems when I visit some questionable websites, namely WordPress(Ah! The irony, or some shit like that). To name a few:

1. The font would turn red. This is not a joke. The fucking font on WordPress would turn red, and stay that way until I restart the browser. Talk about some bloody mysterious shit.
2. Browsing WordPress would use up all of my computer’s memory. That’s right. Reading blogs about social anxiety would use up 8 gigs of RAM. I can’t afford a therapist for my laptop.
3. Typing words at the end of a sentence would replace words at the beginning of the sentence. Look, I realize I’m coming off pretty delusional right now. I realize that. But this shit actually happens to me. Me! Out of all the great writers on WordPress, the internet-demons chose to fuck with me. I’m not a writer. I don’t even read books. The last time I tried reading a novel, I forgot what it was about, halfway into the book. So I decided to fuck it and watch the movie instead. Having said that, I now have a whole new level of appreciation for books. That shit really hits the heart. I still hate them though.

How to gain followers and get more likes

Write better posts

Just kidding

Travel to Kolkata. Go to the ‘New Embassy’ hotel at Elgin. Do not be afraid of the eerie atmosphere or the lack of electronic payment options or the motionless manager. Order dry garlic pork. Eat it. Enjoy it. Bathe in it. When the waiter comes over with the bill, start chanting the ‘whispers of the lost arts’

“I wish Christopher Nolan made one more Batman movie”

“I wish Christopher Nolan made one more Batman movie”

“I wish Christopher Nolan made one more Batman movie”

A one-eyed pony will meet you in the restroom. Explain to it your views on passive euthanasia. Depending on your views, the pony will gift you ‘Kalanick’s 10100’ card which you can use to buy wordpress premium. Publish a post titled ‘Planned obsolescence’ and watch the likes soar.

What I have learned from using Tinder

———————————————————————————————————————————

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, that’s right. Absolutely nothing. 

Time

Time is one of the most precious things in the world

Time will heal

Time IS money

blah blah blah. If it’s so important then why do we still waste it? Why do we waste time staring at the stars? Wait, what? You don’t? There’s something wrong with you dude. Get the fuck out of my blog after hitting the like button.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t like to waste time (I keep telling myself that). Before I do anything I ask myself, “is this going to be productive?”. And yet I find myself wasting a lot of time doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. I am a pro at that. Sometimes I sit alone and think. When I think, time flies. I don’t understand how time can just speed up for others while it stays the same for me. What’s worse is that the damn thing slows down whenever I want it to speed up. So let me get this straight. Time speeds up whenever I do something I like and slows down whenever I do something I hate. Thanks a lot, life.

I guess its all about individual perception. One “feels” the passage of time depending on “how” one decides to spend it. There you have it. I have just given you the keys to happiness. You are welcome. And all it took was just a few YouTube videos.

Okay. What if I constantly keep doing things that I like? (strictly hypothetical). Everyday I would wake up and go back to bed with no clue about where all the time went. Hours, days, months would pass by so quickly that I would loose track of time. One fine morning I would wake up and wonder what happened to my life. That’s scary!

Enjoy these comics too!