Blood, pressure and curiosity

I came close to popping an artery today, at the gym. As soon as I felt the pressure building up in my head, I heard a voice. It was my friend, Sir David Attenborough. “The Giraffe’s blood pressure is higher than any other known animal”, he said. I slowly rose up from the abs-work-out thingy and sat up straight. David continued, “This great pump(the giraffe’s heart) produces blood, squirts it up the artery to the head, and then when it comes down through the jugular vein, there are pocket shaped valves which prevent the blood from flowing backwards into the head, if the animal lowers its head in order to have a drink”.

I will never forget the days I spent watching the Discovery channel, listening to Mr Attenborough’s voice. He was genuinely excited to show the viewers how interesting nature really is. I remember spending hours in front of the TV, watching his shows in awe(I hadn’t discovered porn yet). Thank you Mr. Attenborough, for planting the seed of curiosity in so many people.

“I just wish the world was twice as big and half of it was still unexplored”

– David Attenborough

Poseidon and winter’s anomalies

Long, long ago, in a small town called Topsia, lived a woodpecker named Poseidon. How did he get the name Poseidon, you ask? None of your business. I’m telling the story.
Now, Poseidon was a careful pecker, the kind that flies around with safety gear, like Tom Cruise. Poseidon’s only dream was to see his daughter get married to a industrialist named Timothy Olyphant, but alas! She was gay. News of her gayness spread far and wide, even to the nearby zoo. Now, the zookeeper of this zoo was a religious fundamentalist. When he saw two of these birds doing it at the water fountain, he lost his goddamn mind. He shooed them away.
That’s right. This guy wakes up in the morning, goes to work, and shoos away gay birds. If you thought your life was meaningless, think again and again and again.