Have you ever gone to lock the door late at night, switched off the lights, and happen to see a tall, dark figure standing in a corner of the room, staring right at you?. As delightful as that sounds, there are chances that the whole experience can get a little tricky. So here are a few tips. My advice is to try and connect with it. Reason with it. Ask it why it has such poor taste in clothing. Try to find common ground, you know, like you were on a date. Ask if it is feeling depressed. Also, why do ghosts have to look like a woman to appear scary? That’s a little sexist I think. Also, are there gay ghosts? By the way, a demon and a ghost are two completely different things. I hate it when I hear people say, “aren’t they the same thing?”. No they are not! That’s like saying Gene Jackman and Hugh Jackman are the “same thing” because their names sound similar. One’s a wolverine and the other’s a nobody(no offence). I believe in equal opportunity. My dream is to be haunted by beautiful, transgender spirits.
I was born this way. There is nothing I can do about it.
Ideas (meticulously thought out by Curiosity himself)
- A boxing ring at the centre of your work place, that has a giant bell hung on top to signal the commencement of a no-holds-barred fight to the death.
- Vegetables that taste like meat and meat that tastes like vegetables
- A computer embedded in your brain that will replay all of your fondest memories in your mind during times of extreme distress.
Suggestions (taking suggestions from strangers is what got me through puberty)
- If you don’t like reading books, try to make friends with someone who does. Doing this will help you stay away from books.
- While sitting in a public place, move close to someone and pretend you got a phone call. Lower your voice while talking into the phone and say,” its contagious. Doctor says I shouldn’t be within 10 feet of anyone”.
- The next time you see someone get abnormally angry, sad or frustrated, head over to them and give them a big hug. Then whisper into their ear, “I killed Mufasa”.
Step 1: Think
Think about what exactly you want to say before you say it. Remember, all bosses are busy. So you need to keep it short. Also, don’t jibber jabber.
Step 2: Gather courage
There is nothing wrong in communicating your wishes/problems. It is a sign of growth.
Step 3: Go for it
While you walk into their room, depending on what kind of martial arts you are into, make an announcement in their respective language. For example, if you are into Karate, say in Japanese,” I am going to make you pay for all the horrors you made me go through”. Then, show them who’s boss. I recommend going with your best move first. Do it with confidence, with a smile on your face. It will create a lasting impression.
Step 3 is up for interpretation. It is upto the reader to decide if it is to be taken literally(Stanley Kubrick taught me this).
These are just jokes. The name of the frikkin blog is “Random Thought Beam” after all. So don’t try this at home. However, if you do end up beating up your boss, let me know how it goes. Put it up on your blog. Will be a fun read.