Insensitive-update

This is an update on a prank I’ve been playing on my colleagues for the past one week. I’m sure you’ve read my post about it. If you haven’t already, I kindly request you to stop fucking around and go read it. Appreciate my talent for god’s sake. I work in R&D. I own 3 pairs of headphones. I’m a big deal, is what I’m trying to say. 

https://randomthoughtbeam.wordpress.com/2018/02/09/insensitive/

Anyway, the prank was going great. Today, I got a friend who came over and asked if I was okay. I thought to myself, ” hurray! she’s the funniest of the lot. I am going to get a great response out of her!”. So I gave her the bait.

Me: “Do you ever think about suicide?”. 

Colleague: “Yes”

Me: (in my mind) “oh shit”

Colleague: “I think my parents hate me”

Me: (in my mind) “double shit”

Colleague: “It started ever since that evil sibling of mine was born. My life has been hell after that”

Lets just say things started to get real tense after that. I’m not used to seeing people burst out in tears. So I jumped up and ended the bit quickly. As years pass by, the more I feel like funny people carry a lot of pain. I got really pissed however, when I found out she was pranking me. That’s some ‘fire with fire’ shit right there.

Insensitive

I’ve been trying out this new ‘bit’ at work where I’ll go to the cafeteria, put on some fake tears and I’ll sit there, looking into the distance, waiting for someone to come sit next to me and ask “are you all right?”. Then I would put my hand on their back and ask “have you ever thought about suicide?”. Normally they would say, “oh my god! No! Why?”, to which I would reply, “you should, because I think everyone hates you”.

Most of the time both of us would end up having a good laugh unless they were actually thinking of committing suicide, in which case things would take a dark turn and I’ll have to hear all about it. However, I’ll sit there and listen to the whole story because that’s what friends do.