On April 28th, 2014, I fell in the toilet. At the time, I was living in a shared accommodation, while studying for my Masters. My roommates were quite the exciting bunch. There was a strange guy from Greece who was in his 40’s. He taught economics to PhD students. Then there was the guitar-player/loner from the U.K. who studied film and media. Lastly, there was a petroleum engineering student from China. Dude was from Shanghai and he had the best stories. The only time we would all hang out together was when there were meetings to discuss maintenance of the flat. For example, who was going to clean the toilet next. I made it a point to skip these meetings because as you all know, I belong to the upper class (sarcasm guys, sarcasm). However, one time, an emergency meeting was called because the shower drain got clogged with pubic hair. The economics guy was furious. He wanted to get to the bottom of this. I suggested DNA testing, to which the loner said “oh you’re definitely going to find my DNA in there. But its not the hair”. As we desperately tried to erase that picture from our heads I came to the realization that all of them were quite angry with me already for not taking the turn to clean the bathroom.
At times, life poses great challenges, guys. It is our job to scrape up the dog shit and fling it back at life’s face. So I finally decided to step up and be a man. I grabbed some tissues and floor cleaner, prayed to Isaac Newton and just went for it. After I had finished, I was in the mood for some fun. So I locked the bathroom door, whipped out my… phone and proceeded to play Temple run. A while later, I heard a knock on the door. It was the engineer. He said,” while you are at it, can you also get the cobwebs on the ceiling?”. Remember guys, I was determined to fling dog shit at life’s face. So I stood up on the toilet and started to clean the ceiling. But to my dismay, I slipped and…you can guess the rest of it.