Word play

I am going to do a little word association.

Diary, dairy

Now, diary is something you write. You keep it at home, in a private spot, because you don’t want the kids to read about your awkward childhood boners. Now, when you write the diary, you tend to eat dairy (admit the fact that you never saw that coming). Some of you disgusting people, I assume, like to write while drinking tea, or eating cheese. Some of you take it a step further and write things on top of cakes. You should be eliminated.

By now, it should be clear that I have no clue what I am talking about nor do I know anything about the English language. With that, I wish you a safe pandy, and a bright future.

Kingdom of the Free

I would like to talk about freedom. What is freedom? Do you get it for free? Are you dom enough to think you can get it for free? Tell me something, what is your concept of freedom? Is it free will? because we can debate about that my friend. There are a lot of nerds out there who have different opinions on whether we have free will, but I won’t even get into that now. The Kingdom of the Free is that place in the desert where oil is handed out as offering. It doesn’t exist. Then, is freedom an illusion? When the prison guard tells the prisoner,”you are free to leave”, does he truly mean it? Does he, from the bottom of his heart, think this man is free?

If I write a book about freedom, I won’t even be able to publish it with the publishing house of my choosing, because they’ll reject it for the dick jokes or whatever. That’s what freedom is, a dick joke.

The spec race

Rant time.

After watching half of a Netflix movie that doesn’t make sense, I am here to spread knowledge. More RAM, more processor speed, more megapixels. I’ve had it with this bullshit. I cannot believe my eyes when I see big companies do keynote presentations, and one of the biggest updates they have is “3D emojis”. What tha actual fuck are we doing here? What happened to “new features”? I have in front of me the Nokia 8110, lovingly referred to as the “banana phone”. Youtube, Whatsapp, Facebook, the whole deal. Runs KaiOS, which I think is a worthy competitor to Android and iOS even though they operate in a different market. Did I mention it is a keypad phone that comes with  512MB of RAM? So basically it comes down to this, if the code and memory management are efficient, then hardware constraints stop becoming that big of a deal. If KaiOS can do all this with minimal specs, imagine what they could do with say, an iPhone? Imagine that high definition suicide-prevention app.

“Don’t stop me know”

– The gay guy from Queen

Net neutrality

Who decides the size of the holes in the metal mesh of an electric mosquito squatter? Are they designed to allow the endangered species to pass through unscathed? Who thought it was good idea to put in holes the size of the Ozone hole? Wait… that’s not a thing anymore.