Motivation

Change is good

I feel like now is the time Kevin Hart should have put out his special, ‘What Now?’, because that’s exactly what I’ve been asking myself for the past few days. What now? What is the plan of action from here? How does my life change? Do I act like nothing happened, and stroll back into the office? It’s obvious that I won’t be able to do everything like it was before. I can’t shake hands, or gently stroke the beards of my colleagues. I can’t enjoy a night of escape at the cinema. I can’t hug the punching bag at the gym. My life is going to change. It needs to change. Change is good.

Agam and the sheltered life

I haven’t done anything out of the ordinary. I haven’t taken risks. I haven’t quit my job, and backpacked across the country. What I have done is lead a solitary life amidst chaos. What I dream about is chaos amidst solitude.

Carnatic Progressive Rock

One day I see a group of musicians (Agam) assembled inside what appears to be a new building, but old architecture. There’s a lot of mist ,black shirts and expectation. For some reason I think this has to be another fusion rock gimmick shit, but I wait, patiently, and holy shit did it pay off. 

They blow my mind, especially the vocalist Harish Sivaramakrishnan. If I like somebody, I do the research. I find out this dude used to live where I used to live. I find his face very familiar. I begin to feel like I’ve seen him at music school. I find out he’s an Engineer. I find out he does TED talks. I watch a few of them. All he talks about is his sheltered upbringing, and the success he’s had by taking risks. Well, fuck me!

Choose your path

I used to know a guy who used to pee through the leg-holes of his shorts. He’s now a software engineer at Google. My point is, kids, life works in mysterious ways. What matters is the path you choose. Some people, like my friend here, chose to pull his dick out through the leg-hole of his shorts. Now, that’s not an easy path. It takes time and effort. Imagine the kind of bullying he got. Mr. pullout? Not that bad of a nickname if you ask me.

Where do I go from here?

Ok…I give up. I can’t do it. I can’t talk to people. I don’t do well with colleagues, neighbours and most of all, family. Hell, I don’t even know how to give a decent reply to the comments I get here on this blog. It sucks. But I’m done wasting my life, trying to live a lie. I am what I am. It is time to embrace who I am. I am 27 years old, but half that age, mentally. I have a happy maniac trapped inside me. This Sunday, I will release the Kraken.

I hope I don’t get fired.

 

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Men’s washroom at my favourite cinema