liver disease

LFT

No one wakes up in the morning thinking, “I feel like I’m in the mood for some good LFT”, but guess what? I did. I woke up early , got ready for work, and then decided to fuck it, and take the day off. Split-second decisions like these is what got me through puberty. As I was deciding on fun things to do besides writing on WordPress a.k.a depression log book, the idea of an LFT came up. I realized I’ve been putting it off for a long time because “who pays to hear bad news?”. LFT, as you all know, stands for “lamentable face treatment”. You see it in middle aged people who work in IT. Just kidding.
LIVER FUNCTION TEST

It’s a set of blood tests that show how well your liver is performing. The liver can be a nightmare for some people. Particularly for those who are not in the habit of keeping a good diet. Lucky for me, I got mine fucked up pretty early in life. I used to suffer from migraine a lot when I was a kid. My parents didn’t have any other choice but to shove painkillers down my throat. A few years later, I got treatment for migraine. I was cured but the liver didn’t get any better. Back in college, my diet consisted of mainly beer, pizza and cake. A lot of cake. An unhealthy amount of cake. Chocolate cake. Anyway, I’ve been undergoing treatment for some liver-related fuckups and a few days ago I had a full checkup done. The results said I was ALL CLEAR. However, that did not stop me from tearing up. As I was reading the bill, I felt a single tear roll down my face. Who knew it cost so much to maintain this piece of shit?

A letter to my liver

Hello there my old friend. I hope things are better now. I hope you haven’t turned black or anything. Despite living together for 27 years, I still don’t know you that well. Granted, I never took you seriously until the doc warned me of “abnormalities”, which freaked me the fuck out. I had no clue I was literally killing you, back in college. I didn’t realize all that pizza and beer, and waking up at random places would take a toll on you. Mmm…pizza and beer. Anyway… It’s Friday night. Soo many reasons to celebrate!  

i) I didn’t get fired

ii) I Joined the gym

iii) A mountaineering expert has agreed to accompany me to the hills of Nepal. Although something as small as crossing a road causes her to gasp for breath, she seems legit. 

So, this Friday night, I have mixed feelings because I am devoid of three things: friends, alcohol and liver disease. Anyway…who needs alcohol when you could be playing this all night long?