The Power of Thoughts

 

 

Adaptive biological reprogramming, a.k.a. “evolution”(I made that up) gave us the power to think. No one asked for it. It was gifted to us by ourselves. Despite wielding the awesome power of thought, we still do not know where we come from. It shows how complex nature really is. Pictures of Earth taken from outer space have shown us how insignificant we are in the awesomeness that is the universe. The time frame of our very existence shows us how irrelevant we are in the history of Earth itself. It makes you wonder. What’s the point of all this anger, envy and hate? When the camera zooms out and shows the Earth shrink into nothing but a pale blue dot, you suddenly realize that we are but one big family. In the process, we also learn another surprising truth: WE ARE NOT THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE. Literally!

The fact that we have begun to understand our place in the universe leads me to believe that we might not be that dumb after all! We may not be “special” but we are participants of a great cosmic journey. In the words of Carl Sagan, “We are all made of ‘star stuff’ “. The ingredients that make up the stars are the very same ones found in our body. We are part of the universe. I think that is super cool. We are not perfect. We find cures for disease yet fail to realize that we are the cause of many of them. But we are curious wanderers. We sent our kind into space. We reverse engineered from the present and found clues that lead back to the beginning of the unverse a.k.a wait for it… The Big Bang! We study our own behaviour! We help each other. We do not need a “meaning” for life, we create it for ourselves. Through the universe, we realize that it is not always about “me” but it is about “us”. I think we are awesome. Hi five yourself.

 

Music in my head

I can relate to this song in so many ways. So it feels like this song was a gift.

The path is not clear

Back in school, I never thought about want I wanted to do with my life. I just went with the flow. I liked science and computers. So I studied them. Later on, I decided to focus on electronics. Did not like it very much though. Then came a point where I had to choose between work and study. I chose to study because.. why not? I was extremely lazy and had a rich family. I thought the best thing to do is to use “study” as an excuse and visit another country!

I have always liked music. I am fascinated by sound. So I decided to study it. Apart from studying, I spent most of my time in the student accommodation playing video games and going to the gym.

I rarely went out to visit places or even hang out with my class mates. And guess what? It didn’t feel bad at all. I still don’t regret it. I also learned to cook!

However, I wish I had visited more places. I never knew how much I loved to travel until now.

Now I have a job that I like. But I am worried because I know that I have reached another “comfort zone” in my life. If I don’t wiggle out of this, I might end up being miserable. I know I can do more but it feels so nice to wrap a blanket around myself and just rest peacefully forever while my brain erodes.

I need to be creative. I need to do something new. But how? The path used to be unclear but now it feels like there are obstacles too.

As of now I don’t have anything completely new on my mind. So my best option is to be more creative at the job that I already have! I know it sounds boring but to me, it makes sense. I have to rise from the rubble and try something new. Coming up with a new idea is quite the challenge and requires a lot of hard work. Maybe I have to follow my instincts on this one.

……….and maybe one day the path will reveal itself.

 

Cryogenic preservation of humans

 

The first thing that comes to mind when I think about this is Captain America waking up from the hospital bed! It is going to be super weird to wake up after so many years. I am neither against this practice nor for it but I am extremely curious about it. In a way, I am slightly scared of the idea. What if after death, we are actually meant to wake up someplace better? What if we get pulled from that reality when brought back to life here? That would suck wouldn’t it? There is also the question of “are we doing the right thing by spending so much money to do this?”. The money could instead be used to better someone else’s life. Having said all of this, wouldn’t it be awesome to live again? To get a second chance? To see what happens to the world? To say hello to the more “evolved” humans? Damn that will be embarrassing though! What if you wake up and the first thing you hear is “Power’s out for good bro. Better wake up and get your shit together!” or “oh shit! sorry bro! I was trying to charge my phone. I’ll plug you right back in” or even worse”Oh my god! Kill that ugly thing!”.

I don’t fit in

I don’t fit it in anywhere. Literally. Not even in a shared cab :-). Everyone’s fine all crammed in until I try to fit in. They have that feeling of disgust on their face like I just sat on their face. You know what the worst part is? I have an average size body! I am not even that tall. Maybe its the way I sit I guess!.

I don’t fit in at work. Sure, I have some good friends there but when it comes to working together with someone, I suck. I either tend to be too nice, making others feel too comfortable and take advantage of me or I become too aggressive and end up making a fool of myself (either way, it usually ends up with me getting very aggressive). So the “team player” part of my resume is a blatant lie :-).

I don’t fit in with friend groups. I’ve noticed that whenever I get introduced to a group of friends, there’s someone who immediately hates me for some reason. The others lose interest slowly. Eventually, the person who introduced me regrets doing it.

I don’t fit in with a band. I get the chance to play because I kinda play well. All the jamming sessions go very well but when it comes to hanging out with the band, I again get left out.

I don’t fit in with my family. What can I say? Its like mom, sis and I actually like to argue with each other. We are better off texting each other. I like having the extended family over for parties. We have a little fun but eventually I get left out there too. Its a little weird when the host gets left out!

I don’t fit in AT ALL in relationships :-). I don’t think this one needs much explanation.

I know its no one’s fault but mine. On the bright side, I think I would be a perfect candidate for a one-way trip to outer space. Solo mission only please!

Rejection

Sorry kids. This is not the kind of rejection you are thinking about.

I am a huge fan of Freddy Mercury. For those of you who don’t know who this legend is, I highly recommend you keep it that way. He was the lead singer of the band Queen. I am equally inspired by his music and his energy. He worked hard to get to the top. He had the ability to influence people just by talking to them. I wish I had his influencing skills. The rest of this post will explain why.

It was one of those weekends where I was struggling to keep myself busy so that I don’t get bored and fall into an endless pit of depression. I decided to attend a small gig. It turned out to be an arena for beginner bands to showcase their talent to the world. The only problem was that the place was filled with college students and I was the odd 25 year old with no friends. However, all that feeling of embarrassment faded away when one particular band took the stage. These guys were my age. They sounded unbelievably great. They were a trio. One played the acoustic guitar, one played keyboards and one vocalist sat on a chair playing just a bass drum with the foot pedal. They performed few covers and originals. Need less to say, they took me on a musical journey. I could feel that special sparkle in their music.

I am at the moment desperately trying to form a band. So I approached them after the show and thanked them for playing here. They seemed like very nice people. I also hinted that they need a full drum kit rather than just a base drum(I am a drummer). They seemed to pay little attention to me and stressed that they were a “Trio”. However, they thanked me for the feedback and asked me to follow them on Facebook for tour dates. I went back home and did just that. I also sent two of them a friend request(because three friend requests would be like super begging ha ha). I came back home and listened to the original songs that they covered that day. Believe me, their version sounded much better. It was when they covered this song that I realised that they were exceptionally talented:

I soo want to be in this band. They are the whole package! I wouldn’t have to go hunting for individual members. All I have to do is get in!

And then the waiting began. A week passed. None of my friend requests were accepted. Then one day to my surprise I received a notification saying that the vocalist had accepted my request. I did not waste much time with chit chat. I asked if I could come see one of their jamming sessions. To my surprise, he replied that they preferred to keep their jamming sessions private. I told him that I totally respect his decision and thanked him for his time. This is my first time being rejected to my face. So I felt very bad. However, a glimmer of hope shone soon after. He said he’ll speak with the other guys and let me know. Looks like he felt a little bit of my pain! :-). So now I am back to waiting. Hope something good comes out of all this.

Vacation comes to an end

Don’t you just hate it when a perfect vacation comes to an end? It feels like all the happiness you gained in a few days gets taken away in just one day!

I went home to visit my family. I got 10 days of pure happiness with friends and family. I also travelled a bit .Sadly, all of it has come to an end and I am now back in my miserable bachelor pad far, far away from home. There is no place like home.

Well, its not as bad as going back to school! Damn! I hated school! All I have to do now is work hard. This is what I’ve been telling myself ever since I got back-“It doesn’t matter if you are alone. You have a great job. You can work harder and get a better job, visit amazing places and get a better life”.

Friends

Friends- The best thing that can happen to anyone. Any problem in life is made easy with them. My friend circle is very small. So, moving far away from home has resulted in me getting completely cut off from them.

Like any normal person would, I prefer like- minded people. In my case, that seems to be a little too much to ask for because(how do I make this non-cringe worthy?) my type doesn’t come in plenty! So now I’ve broadened the approach. I try to talk to whoever comes my way. This has resulted in many awkward conversations, sometimes giving off wrong signals and even turning flirtatious. I wish there was an easy way to do this. There are apps to do this sort of thing but I’m terrified to use them.

I realise now that I had been taking friends for granted. They came in plenty at school! You didn’t have to put any work into it! There were so many people around me that I had the luxury to choose people. But now, things are different. I have to work hard to make good friends. I have to, dare I say it, ‘be outgoing’. The funny thing is that I never meet good friends this way. I meet interesting people only in interesting ways! It usually happens by coincidence. It’s like the universe sends them to me. Since the universe has been awful quiet lately, I am forced to find friends on my own. I never realised it would be so hard. I am forced to make myself appealing to get to talk to people. I know that there is a natural tendency for people to want to hang out with other happy  people. I have also heard that successful people hagout with other successful people. I interpret it as ‘smart people prefer to keep their smartness fresh by hanging out with other smart people’ which is probably ignorant but hey! I don’t differentiate them when they seek my friendship!. Unfortunately, I tend to repel successful people very quickly!

I am now at a point in my life where I could really use a few good friends. I am not a total introvert who does not talk to anyone. I have a few friends at work. I very rarely get to hangout with them outside the office. My friends from college are my closest. I was the happiest person in the world when a few of them came to visit me. I had the best time of my life.

I like watching talk shows on YouTube. Apart from the top ones, I also like those  types where common people get together and talk about day-to-day problems that everyone face. Its even more awesome if they are funny and are also friends with each other. This leads me to think that my longing to have a group of friends has peaked to such a level that I like to watch people on YouTube have a good time! One positive thing that has come out of not having any friends is that my imagination is running wild. You know it is time to make friends as soon as possible when you start to imagine having conversations with imaginary people!

So here’s the thing about me that is really messed up: There actually was a point in my life not too long ago when I had a good number of friends. I enjoyed their company very much. However,as we hung out more and more, I started to get sick of them. I wanted to go back to my lonely miserable condition. I am not sure if it had anything to do with the group  that I hung out with but I really felt bad about it. I thought something was wrong with me. I was literally hunting for friends the whole time and when I finally had what I wanted, I wanted to get rid of them. It is really hard  to describe the feeling of not wanting too many friends. But that is not even the worst part. I actually wanted to be ALONE at that point. The people who I hung out with had not done anything to upset me. Its just weird.

Animal

We often hear the phrase: What are we, animals?. It really makes me think. Whenever we do something aggressive, we’re told not to behave like animals and yet we are. We are animals. Who are we kidding? There’s no denying it. We are only desperately trying to suppress our animal desires. However, we are evolved animals and evolved beings are expected to behave well. Where do we draw the line? I think there is no such line because I believe we are still undergoing that change.
How do we define being human?
We began this arduous journey as animals. Slowly but steadily we began the transition to humanity. Along the way, we tend to get confused. I think it is okay to get confused. We get confused because at the core we are still animals. We feel good when we behave like animals. How long will it take for these animal instincts to go away? People say that it is upto an individual to decide weather to do the right thing. I don’t think it makes sense. A person, lets say a “less evolved” person might be behaving like an animal because their mind is asking them to do what it thinks is right. Whatever we, “evolved” beings might think, that person is just following his/er instincts. Their conscience finds nothing wrong in behaving like animals. So they do whatever they like but in some cases, they might feel regret afterwards. I think this is the key point in evolution. We feel the prick of conscience. In even rarer cases, we go back and fix it! Then we learn from it. We adapt our ways so that we do not repeat the mistake. Evolution at its best!
I don’t think we have reached the destination though. I don’t think there is one. I don’t think there will ever be a fully evolved human being. Please don’t think I am too pessimistic. I have reasons to believe so. The body adapts to its surroundings. Since environments keep changing, there is no reason for evolution to stop. The human mind is extraordinary. It has the ability to teach itself and hence people will also continue to evolve mentally forever. Having said that, I would just like to point out that I watched X-men apocalypse today and I loved it.

We live in a world where the majority of the population think they are always right. People don’t take a moment to think how their actions might affect others(I am no better).  Its amazing how a simple discussion with other people can change your plans altogether. I think this is another trait we acquired with the help of evolution. The ability to have an actual discussion with others, to consider the consequences of your actions before you make them, is amazing.
I think we still depend a lot on our animal instincts to succeed in life. That ‘gut feeling’ that we all get is the basic instinct. We cannot throw away such useful traits. However, there are several of them that I think we should lose!

I want to be a drummer

Be warned. I am bad at writing. Most of it wont make sense unless our brains could somehow sync with each other.

Like many of us, I’ve often wondered what to do with my life. Do I make my life meaningful by helping others or do I just enjoy my life to the fullest? My life at times gets so depressing that I have to struggle to keep myself happy. However, I have a strong feeling that I am here for a purpose. I have absolutely no reason to believe so. Its just a feeling. I think I am here to make people happy. I like to make people happy! Although I am not a very people person, I do not waste chances I get to be useful. Be it fixing electronics or just cheering people up, I wish I could do it more often. The happy face you get to see after you fix someone’s computer is simply priceless.

So I gave it some thought. What do I like to do the most that would also be meaningful? I know that music makes everyone happy. Even during the worst of times, a little music can cheer you up. I love to make music and especially to play drums. Using these skills, I believe I can make people happy someday. The universe will show me the how. The universe talks to me very rarely but in powerful ways. The universe has been very quiet of late!

So I think I would be happy to be a drummer. I never thought that would be my ultimate aim in life but that’s what it looks like now. No matter what job I do or what course I study I have a feeling of unfulfillment. I initially thought I wanted to compose background scores for movies but upon giving it some deep thought I realised that I would run out of ideas pretty soon. However, when I play in a band, beats just pop up like magic. When I sit on the drum throne I feel like I an actual king! ‘Throne’ is a very apt name for the drum seat.

Is it just me or do great ideas pop up in your mind when you shower? or take a walk? Brilliant guitar riffs pop up in my mind when I go for long walks. Especially after work! My mind plays extraordinary music when I go for walks. I wish I could record them! I am happy that my mind is creative enough to play its own music instead of playing pre-existing songs!

I have not played in that  many bands but I certainly know how it feels when a bus labelled with your band’s name comes to pick you up for a show! I think of a real band as a family where everyone can read each others mind. Although I have never been in such a band, I hope I will some day. Here’s the problem. I am afraid to choose drumming as a career path. I do not know if I can make a living off it. Not only do I don’t vibe with people, but I also only like to play for genres that people don’t usually like. I also know that it is hard work. I am amazed to see really old bands still kicking ass. I am happy for them. If you are in a mood for some ‘feel good’ talk, I suggest you watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V80-gPkpH6M