People who talk in the theater

I knew the day was going to come when I’ll have to address this menace on a platform that no one ever reads. This is getting to a point where we’ll need to get the ‘shh police’ involved. I want theater staff standing by at all times to manhandle these motherfuckers. Look man, I get it. You’ve paid extra to watch it on the opening night. You’ve got your group of friends, your life is amazing. I understand that. Just don’t come to a theater, and spread that happiness around. Just sit down, eat your overpriced popcorn, and get the hell outta there. No one wants to know all the other movies the director has done, or why the movie is going to change the landscape of the movie industry. Save your damn opinions for filmschool. Where’s the shh police when you need them? Have all of them found fulfilling jobs at libraries?

I was watching The Batman, and there was these group of kids, who I’ll be honest, reminds me a lot of myself when I was young. I used to get so excited, but I also knew I had to respect the audience. Everyone paid the same price. Everyone deserves great entertainment. That’s actually not true , the rich bitches are lying down on recliner seats, enjoying gold plated nachos, handmade by tv’s favorite chef. Nobody’s making a fuss there because over there, the threats are real. ‘I’ll dismiss your father’ is a favorite. So anyway, I’m sitting there, slowly getting into the dark and gloomy mood of Gotham city, and this kid won’t stop rambling about the color scheme of this movie. I mean, he’s making really good points about the Red accent and all, but I paid 360 for this man, and it’s not even imax. I am a poor, unfulfilled moviegoer. Please let me have this.

PS: Great movie. Loved the cinematography. If you’re thinking about watching it, don’t think twice. Go watch it in a nice theater, because you deserve it.


I do not have the freedom to make juice in my own house (technically mom’s house). What’s next? A curfew? I know whoever is reading this is going to assume what a piece of shit I am, but I ask you this. What is life without juice, my old friend? What sense does it make to drink tasteless water all day everyday? Life is a fountain of flavors (note that down), and my job as a temporary resident is to swim through the ocean of opportunity, and avoid getting eaten by sharks.