Does typing things in proper grammar, using the proper punctuations, really show respect to the person you are writing to? or is it just a dumb assumption of sincerity?
My manager (also referred to as “cocksucker” in my other posts), made me work overtime today. Luckily, the task at hand was cinema hall-audio-design, which is what I was BORN TO DO. While working, I realized that I never really left the cinema hall after watching Jurassic Park, back in 1993. I was 3 years old when it came out. But it made such a great impact on me that in my head, I still roam on the island of wonders(and man eaters). Everything we see in the movie emerged out of Steven Spielberg’s imagination. The way the actors talked, the way the dinosaurs moved, the way it rained, was all envisioned and painstakingly crafted by the director. So in a way, all of us got to see how the director’s brain works! We got to see a little bit of his creative mind and his thought process. By broadcasting the movie, he was actually beaming his thoughts to millions of people. How cool is that? Millions of people viewing his mind all around the world. I think it is the most mysterious/awesome type of communication in the word!
(I hear people who read books feel the same way about writers. Fuck those nerds and my ADHD)
One of the most awesome characteristics of planet Earth is that it has an atmosphere. Thanks to it, we are able to communicate with each other verbally (sound requires a medium to propagate, which in this case is air). We evolved to develop ears only because there was air in the atmosphere.
Well, what if there was no air? How would we communicate? Most people would ask how we would survive without air in the first place. I am talking of a hypothetical situation where we would be able to survive without it. Who knows? Maybe there’s a planet out there with no air. Imagine a thunderstorm with no sound. Such a waste!
The first thing that comes to mind is sign language. I wonder how much further we would have advanced from simple signing. For example, with, sound, we began by making simple noises, then advanced to simple words, then sentences and so on. Now we have cell phones, voice recorders and Daft Punk. What if we had advanced the same way with something like sign language? I am guessing facial expressions would play a much greater role. The conveyance of feelings would be a thing? (anyone who watched The Arrival can relate). I can imagine a world full of professor Xs walking around in silence yet communicating with each other just fine.
The environment directly influences the way we evolve (perfect time to bring up environmental awareness but who gives a shit). What if there exists a planet with a completely different type of environment inhabited by completely different beings? How cool/nightmarish would that be?
I’ve tried. It doesn’t work. I am talking about casual talk. I can’t hold a conversation for more than a few minutes. Either one of us gets bored quickly and the conversation fades. I’ve been trying to fix this for a long time. I tried to fix it only because I wanted to feel normal. What’s weird is that I never realized that I am not good at talking to people until now. Up until now I never had to put in effort to make friends. They came in plenty at school! I am in my late 20s now. I am still close friends with my college mates. However, now we live in different parts of the world and that fucking sucks.
For the past few months, I’ve been forcing myself to start conversations with random strangers. Funny thing is that it worked. Almost everyone I talked to responded very well. It is what happened afterwards that I didn’t like. I quickly got bored of the talking. So I modified my approach. I blurted out only the important things and then I walked away. Ha ha. Weird and proud!
I’ve stopped trying so hard because I found out that deep down, I don’t really care. I’ve realized that I enjoy being alone, doing things only I like. I keep myself company. Going to watch movies alone has opened up a whole new world for me. I now immerse myself in the movie. I don’t have to worry about weather the other person likes the movie or not. You might think that I am trying to fill the void in my life by doing all of this but no. I know what its like to be with someone. I know what its like to be with a group of friends. It doesn’t quite work for me anymore. Then why blog about it? Well, its because I am not entirely sure if what I am feeling is right. Initially the title of this post was “I am not good at talking to people and its okay”.