As the days go by, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to meditate. The mind is getting restless. It’s becoming more and more difficult to tame. Today however, I fell asleep while trying to meditate. It’s like I put so much effort into trying to focus that I got tired, and fell asleep. It’s always nice to wake up from a nap, and realize it’s only been an hour or 15 minutes. It’s not fun when you wake up and half your life is over.
ERP
Now, the internet defines ERP therapy as something very comfortable and soothing, but in reality it is not. I know there’s steps to it, but it still seems weird. So, for anyone who doesn’t know what ERP is, it stands for Extremely Radical Pornography. JK. It’s a kind of therapy that exposes people to their fears in a safe environment, and this apparently fixes them. When my therapist told me to do the one thing that made me uncomfortable, my initial reaction was to demand my money back (with interest). It would have been very funny to see how that played out, but no, I chose to remain calm, and do whatever she said because she’s the one with the degrees and the note pad, and I’m the one who’s afraid of talking to people. So far, it’s been going without any major issues, except every time I do the ERP, I feel like I’m punching a demon in the face, and how long can I keep punching a demon in the face? If horrors movies have taught me anything, it’s that the only way to get rid of a demon infestation is to invite a priest over for coffee, and stop thinking rationally.