It is that time of the year where I start to feel human again. I start to feel love for other human beings. I close my eyes, and I see people smiling. Big, old, young, small, everyone’s smiling, even the awful ones. It is time to set aside differences, and do something nice. I wish everyone happiness.
I’m going home for Christmas
I almost had to take a loan to get the tickets, but it’s happening. Curiosity will fly over the City of Joy, and land safely in the Queen of the Arabian Sea (that doesn’t sound dirty at all) just in time for Christmas (not that I give a fuck). It’s going to be a lot of fun with the family, and their family, and their family, will make me miss my bachelor pad in no time. Jokes aside, I miss my folks, and I am excited. Keeping the holiday spirit in mind, here’s a sweet video to bring joy and happiness to your life.
A lesson in eating
‘Tis the season to be jolly! You know what else ‘Tis the season of? Food! Lots and lots of it! Juicy turkey, sweet potatoes, brussels sprouts, cake, yum yum! After the meal, every once in a while someone in the house will say, “I’ve made something special for this Christmas. Try it and let me know how it is”.
People, let me give you some valuable advice. Whoever is reading this, understand that I care for you. I appreciate the fact that you have taken the time to read my blog. Which is why I am sharing this secret with you. Get ready for this.
DON’T. You hear me? DON’T EVEN TOUCH THAT PIECE OF CRAP. If they force it, try threatening them with allergy, nausea, etc. If that doesn’t work, try “Fuck you. I deserve better”. This “special dish” has the potential to ruin your whole meal. This shit will go so far as to disrupt the whole fabric of space and time. It will destroy peace negotiations between countries. It will be so traumatic that you will start to experience night terrors. It might be so bad that you will have to go back home, get something from your fridge and wash your mouth down. I washed my mouth with these babies