Career

The path is not clear

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Back in school, I never thought about want I wanted to do with my life. I just went with the flow. I liked science and computers. So I studied them. Later on, I decided to focus on electronics. Did not like it very much though. Then came a point where I had to choose between work and study. I chose to study because.. why not? I was extremely lazy and had a rich family. I thought the best thing to do is to use “study” as an excuse and visit another country!

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I have always liked music. I am fascinated by sound. So I decided to study it. Apart from studying, I spent most of my time in the student accommodation playing video games and going to the gym.

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I rarely went out to visit places or even hang out with my class mates. And guess what? It didn’t feel bad at all. I still don’t regret it. I also learned to cook!

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However, I wish I had visited more places. I never knew how much I loved to travel until now.

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Now I have a job that I like. But I am worried because I know that I have reached another “comfort zone” in my life. If I don’t wiggle out of this, I might end up being miserable. I know I can do more but it feels so nice to wrap a blanket around myself and just rest peacefully forever while my brain erodes.

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I need to be creative. I need to do something new. But how? The path used to be unclear but now it feels like there are obstacles too.

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As of now I don’t have anything completely new on my mind. So my best option is to be more creative at the job that I already have! I know it sounds boring but to me, it makes sense. I have to rise from the rubble and try something new. Coming up with a new idea is quite the challenge and requires a lot of hard work. Maybe I have to follow my instincts on this one.

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……….and maybe one day the path will reveal itself.

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I want to be a drummer

Be warned. I am bad at writing. Most of it wont make sense unless our brains could somehow sync with each other.

Like many of us, I’ve often wondered what to do with my life. Do I make my life meaningful by helping others or do I just enjoy my life to the fullest? My life at times gets so depressing that I have to struggle to keep myself happy. However, I have a strong feeling that I am here for a purpose. I have absolutely no reason to believe so. Its just a feeling. I think I am here to make people happy. I like to make people happy! Although I am not a very people person, I do not waste chances I get to be useful. Be it fixing electronics or just cheering people up, I wish I could do it more often. The happy face you get to see after you fix someone’s computer is simply priceless.

So I gave it some thought. What do I like to do the most that would also be meaningful? I know that music makes everyone happy. Even during the worst of times, a little music can cheer you up. I love to make music and especially to play drums. Using these skills, I believe I can make people happy someday. The universe will show me the how. The universe talks to me very rarely but in powerful ways. The universe has been very quiet of late!

So I think I would be happy to be a drummer. I never thought that would be my ultimate aim in life but that’s what it looks like now. No matter what job I do or what course I study I have a feeling of unfulfillment. I initially thought I wanted to compose background scores for movies but upon giving it some deep thought I realised that I would run out of ideas pretty soon. However, when I play in a band, beats just pop up like magic. When I sit on the drum throne I feel like I an actual king! ‘Throne’ is a very apt name for the drum seat.

Is it just me or do great ideas pop up in your mind when you shower? or take a walk? Brilliant guitar riffs pop up in my mind when I go for long walks. Especially after work! My mind plays extraordinary music when I go for walks. I wish I could record them! I am happy that my mind is creative enough to play its own music instead of playing pre-existing songs!

I have not played in that  many bands but I certainly know how it feels when a bus labelled with your band’s name comes to pick you up for a show! I think of a real band as a family where everyone can read each others mind. Although I have never been in such a band, I hope I will some day. Here’s the problem. I am afraid to choose drumming as a career path. I do not know if I can make a living off it. Not only do I don’t vibe with people, but I also only like to play for genres that people don’t usually like. I also know that it is hard work. I am amazed to see really old bands still kicking ass. I am happy for them. If you are in a mood for some ‘feel good’ talk, I suggest you watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V80-gPkpH6M