I realized I’ve not been taking the best financial decisions off late. If the time came where I needed to flee the country, I need money to flee. So I looked back, analyzed my spending strategy, and found they were all wrong. Like, for example, I Uber to work, the days that I’m running late. Looking back at it now, I realize how dumb it is. So I cut it. Now I just reach work late. You see kids, smart decisions like these is what got me to where I am today. It doesn’t matter if you get a mail from HR saying, “here’s your punch-in history for the past two months, and it doesn’t look good”. It doesn’t matter. You see, it only takes a moment to send a reply saying, “go fuck yourself INFINITE number of times you dick sucking fuck-stick”, but I don’t. You see kids, that’s another great quality to have, self-restraint.
I never thought it’ll come to this, but I wrote a poem
I came here with hopes, dreams and a pair of earphones
I learned quite a lot, I have to admit
I met some good people, very good people, and bad people
I experienced warmth, cold, and culture
I ate whatever I could eat
I played, I loitered, but I have not littered
But now I feel like it is time for me to go
To where, I do not know, but I cannot stay here anymore
because this heaven has become my comfort zone
At the back of my head I hear,” part of the ship, part of the crew”
Which is why I need to get the fuck out of here ASAP
I am a creative person, too lazy to create
Hoping I get an Uber to my next destination
But I don’t feel helpless, because I have a vision
It tells me everything is going to fine
As of now, I am a kite, caught on a power line
I have a dream, a simple, revolutionary dream. I want to make music. I want to see people become happy when they listen to my music. Unfortunately, I do not have the talent to realize this dream on my own. I need a team(in the words of the great Deadpool, “a super dooper fucking group”). I’ve been trying to put together a team for the past one month. After several auditions, I finally got a bass player and lead guitar player. I explained my dream to them. I narrated it in Morgan Freeman’s voice. I put forth the idea like Steve Jobs explaining a business idea. I did everything I could. Yet those fuckers want to pursue a more “people-friendly” genre rather than taking a chance with me. I respect their musical interests. So now, I travel for an hour every weekend, play drums to fuckin “Foo Fighters” at a recording studio, come back home and eat till the depression fades away(Domino’s wins again).
I met a family who lives inside the studio’s premises. Here they are:
I got a call from a cousin recently. Its one of those cousins that you know, calls once every three or four months to show that he cares and shit. But this time the conversation went a little differently.
How’s everything? How’s work? How long have you been working there? Are you getting paid well? Do you think that’s good enough for you? Wait… let me tell you this before you even answer. No, that’s not good enough for you. You have to aim higher. Why are you not trying? Say hi to mom .Take care buddy!
I think orphans are lucky in certain ways. I have never been bothered by relatives before but this got me thinking. Besides, dude is a pretty awesome engineer himself. So I didn’t want to let it out the other ear. Obviously, there’s no point in writing all of this crap in a blog because ultimately I am the one who needs to wake up and take decisions. For some reason, I think writing helps.
If I keep doing what I like does that make me some kind of a “non-dreamer”? Do you necessarily have to keep switching jobs frequently until you find the best one? I like to call such people “bullet trains”. They don’t pay attention to the little things because the attention is on the main goal. Granted, I don’t get paid well and I hate everyone at work but hey, I love the job! In fact I am sure that I can do much more with it. I have to admit that it has started to feel a bit like a nice cozy comfort zone but that’s just something I’ll have to deal with.
On a lighter note, I got a new apartment
Internet is faster than the rate at which “bullet trains” switch jobs.
Next door neighbour’s name is Loki
Very rarely do I bump into talkative neighbours
Nothing so far. Woohoo!
Never thought I’d say this but…
I think I miss my roommate
I got the ‘gig’. I did it! I did it! The nerd is in a rock band. All I can say now is shit’s about to go down.
I haven’t played in that many bands but I know the feeling you get when a bus bearing your band’s name comes to pick you up for a show. Yes, I do believe in that ‘band is family’ shit. It’s a mysterious musical-interest-based-bond that refuses to go away even after the band breaks up. Enough gay shit.
After the audition was over the lead singer announced that they would be happy to have me play the drums. So naturally my first instinct was to go over to the mic and announce that I was not gay. But I held it in for a better opportunity. It also gave me a brilliant idea. I could do some stand-up when we play live. That would kill time in between songs. Also, I get to humiliate hecklers.
To quote the great poet Nikki Sixx,
“When we started this band
All we needed, needed was a laugh
Years gone by, I’d say we’ve kicked some ass
When I’m enraged Or hittin’ the stage
Adrenaline rushing Through my veins
And I’d say we’re still kickin’ ass“
Back in school, I never thought about want I wanted to do with my life. I just went with the flow. I liked science and computers. So I studied them. Later on, I decided to focus on electronics. Did not like it very much though. Then came a point where I had to choose between work and study. I chose to study because.. why not? I was extremely lazy and had a rich family. I thought the best thing to do is to use “study” as an excuse and visit another country!
I have always liked music. I am fascinated by sound. So I decided to study it. Apart from studying, I spent most of my time in the student accommodation playing video games and going to the gym.
I rarely went out to visit places or even hang out with my class mates. And guess what? It didn’t feel bad at all. I still don’t regret it. I also learned to cook!
However, I wish I had visited more places. I never knew how much I loved to travel until now.
Now I have a job that I like. But I am worried because I know that I have reached another “comfort zone” in my life. If I don’t wiggle out of this, I might end up being miserable. I know I can do more but it feels so nice to wrap a blanket around myself and just rest peacefully forever while my brain erodes.
I need to be creative. I need to do something new. But how? The path used to be unclear but now it feels like there are obstacles too.
As of now I don’t have anything completely new on my mind. So my best option is to be more creative at the job that I already have! I know it sounds boring but to me, it makes sense. I have to rise from the rubble and try something new. Coming up with a new idea is quite the challenge and requires a lot of hard work. Maybe I have to follow my instincts on this one.
……….and maybe one day the path will reveal itself.
Be warned. I am bad at writing. Most of it wont make sense unless our brains could somehow sync with each other.
Like many of us, I’ve often wondered what to do with my life. Do I make my life meaningful by helping others or do I just enjoy my life to the fullest? My life at times gets so depressing that I have to struggle to keep myself happy. However, I have a strong feeling that I am here for a purpose. I have absolutely no reason to believe so. Its just a feeling. I think I am here to make people happy. I like to make people happy! Although I am not a very people person, I do not waste chances I get to be useful. Be it fixing electronics or just cheering people up, I wish I could do it more often. The happy face you get to see after you fix someone’s computer is simply priceless.
So I gave it some thought. What do I like to do the most that would also be meaningful? I know that music makes everyone happy. Even during the worst of times, a little music can cheer you up. I love to make music and especially to play drums. Using these skills, I believe I can make people happy someday. The universe will show me the how. The universe talks to me very rarely but in powerful ways. The universe has been very quiet of late!
So I think I would be happy to be a drummer. I never thought that would be my ultimate aim in life but that’s what it looks like now. No matter what job I do or what course I study I have a feeling of unfulfillment. I initially thought I wanted to compose background scores for movies but upon giving it some deep thought I realised that I would run out of ideas pretty soon. However, when I play in a band, beats just pop up like magic. When I sit on the drum throne I feel like I an actual king! ‘Throne’ is a very apt name for the drum seat.
Is it just me or do great ideas pop up in your mind when you shower? or take a walk? Brilliant guitar riffs pop up in my mind when I go for long walks. Especially after work! My mind plays extraordinary music when I go for walks. I wish I could record them! I am happy that my mind is creative enough to play its own music instead of playing pre-existing songs!
I have not played in that many bands but I certainly know how it feels when a bus labelled with your band’s name comes to pick you up for a show! I think of a real band as a family where everyone can read each others mind. Although I have never been in such a band, I hope I will some day. Here’s the problem. I am afraid to choose drumming as a career path. I do not know if I can make a living off it. Not only do I don’t vibe with people, but I also only like to play for genres that people don’t usually like. I also know that it is hard work. I am amazed to see really old bands still kicking ass. I am happy for them. If you are in a mood for some ‘feel good’ talk, I suggest you watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V80-gPkpH6M