31st birthday highlights

In an unexpected move, my mom got me a bouquet of flowers. It was followed by an unsuccessful hug, followed by minimal eye contact for five minutes.

A friend got me a birthday card that sings happy birthday, but with fart noises.

I wanted to meet some friends in the evening, but the universe said “FUCK YOU” with uninterrupted rain starting at 7:00 pm, and ending promptly at 9:00pm.

All in all, a good one though.

The dead cousin prayer

Holy fuck, it’s been 5 years. Your cute little daughters are taller now. One of them looks just like your mom. The elder one is doing unbelievably well in school. Can you believe this shit? Your daughter! Getting straight A’s! In what world did you imagine your offspring doing well in school? Lol. She’s making everyone proud. She reminds me so much of you. It’s like a clone, but smarter! Your sister on the other hand, doesn’t talk to me anymore, so that balances out the familial relations. I really really wish you were here 😦 Oh! and happy birthday.