I’ve discovered a gateway

Guys, I knew this day would finally come. It was just a matter of time, since I have an affinity for these kind of things. I don’t know how to go about this. It might sound crazy to all of you, but I hope my personal experience sheds some light on this much debated topic. There’s no easy way to say it….

I’ve discovered time travel.

It happens when I pass through a glitch in the universe. It’s some sort of a gateway, and right now, it’s at the doorstep of the State Treasury Department. Stay with me. I went there to open a fixed deposit thinking it’s the right thing to do given the volatile nature of the current economy.

So I reached the gate of this magnificent building, and I see about hundred people waiting in queue to get in. Turns out, those are people being made to wait because they’re there to withdraw money. For people who want to deposit money, there’s a lady at the door welcoming you in right away with open arms, and she’s willing to show you around and stuff.

The moment you pass through those doors, you feel something’s different. You see people talking in a different accent, there’s flip phones, lots of wood, bottles of glue, there’s staff walking around without wearing any ID tags, it’s the real deal, and get this, the office “server” shuts down at 12:00 pm, which is like, standard operating procedure for establishments that existed in the 90’s. So post 12:00 pm, we go back even further in time to the dark ages where people yell at each other, and show hand-signals to communicate.

I had to go three times to this shit hole to open a frikkin fixed deposit, and I still haven’t even got the damn passbook yet. The year is 2021. Get your shit together, State Treasury.


A very good evening to you, my good hearted, honest reader. Today, I am going to talk a little bit about a cluster fuck of a situation called State Bank Of India. First of all, how many services does a bank need to offer?. Got a hair fall problem? No need to worry because State Bank hair transplant service can give you that lucious nose hair you’ve always dreamed about.
They also have 400 apps. There’s one app for banking, there’s another banking app for people residing in Bangalore, another one for people residing in Bangalore who travel by the metro, another one for people living outside India who likes to read Arthur Conan Doyle novels.
Despite having so many services, the simplest of tasks are a nightmare with this bank. You try to pay for stuff online, the security check fails. If you want to withdraw money from an ATM, you first need to pass an IQ test (because that’s how the state bank officials think they’ll catch the fraudsters). Security is a joke with these people. I have seen banks in foreign countries give out free Kaspersky Antivirus licence codes. You know why? because they at the least want to show that they care about their customer’s online security. Dear State Bank on the other hand, over here we might have to pay the banks to install a damn antivirus on their bloody computers, because some of those ATM machines look like they’ve been raped.


I feel like I was too harsh on State Bank. They have student loan options and travel cards that I think are doing good.