My dependence on tech

It is getting worrisome. I actually fear the day where I will have to figure things out on my own, without the help of the internet. When they coined the term ‘internet of things’, they weren’t kidding around! It really is the internet of everything!

I honestly don’t remember the last time I asked someone for directions. I really don’t. I just type it in and boom! I’ve got the shortest route with the least amount of traffic. What about places that aren’t on a map you ask? Papa don’t roll that way, dog. Papa don’t go to no places that aren’t on a map. Lol.

This is how I view my dependence on technology: It’s like a parasite feeding on my brain. You know, like that thing from the movie, Venom. My dependence on it has grown so much over the past few years, that I get very upset when my phone or tablet starts to fail. It actually messes with my mind. At the same time, I look at one of my best friends who, doesn’t really pay that much attention to his phone or any other gadget for that matter. He seems to be absolutely fine. The only aspect about a phone that bothers him is that he’ll have to pay to get a new one when the old one dies. This dude reads a text A WEEK after I’ve sent it to him. It’s like he lives on another planet (in a way, he does. Life on the island of Maldives is a little different). Check out the episode where I interview him:

My phone has started to do something weird where it reboots by itself from time to time. I’m trying to not make a big deal out of it, but the truth is I cannot. I can’t stand a situation where I’ll be cut off from Whatsapp. I can’t. It’s weird because I am an introvert and everything, but life in 2021 needs Whatsapp. I am sorry, that’s just how it is! So what I am trying to say is, if you are that type of person who doesn’t really give a damn about your phone or the internet, realize that you are not missing out on anything. Yes, use tech to keep tabs on current affairs, and do what you need to do to stay on top of your game, but stop there. Don’t fall into over indulgence. Don’t let Mr. Zuckerberg stare into your soul with his mysterious eyes. Be free.

Addiction warning

My YouTube usage analysis says that I view on an average, 2 hours of YouTube daily.

DAILY

To celebrate this fact, I rented a studio all to myself and played my heart out.

Update:

Studio cat has grown.

Is now employed by the studio to guard the gate.

No Rockstar gets past these watchful eyes.

Eat the devil

Everyone knows you have to be very careful while walking into a teenager’s room unannounced, because you never know what you might run into. One would hope that you mature with age. But when I walked in on my colleague chewing on this shit, I couldn’t help but pause for a moment.

It made me think about the weird ways some people find pleasure in doing the strangest things. What is it about human nature that finds it amusing to torture yourself to a point where, pure, eye-watering pain turns into pleasure? I know we are a species of explorers, one that strives to break barriers and reach new horizons but, dude! What are you trying to do? Cook your tongue?

Addiction

15 years ago one Friday evening I realised that I’m addicted to cake. I came home from school, opened the fridge and to my surprise, there was a giant, round pineapple cake just sitting there as if the universe had sent it to me. Back then, my interest in eating cakes was no greater than prof. Stephen Hawking’s interest in watching the Kardashians. I would try one small piece out of curiosity and regret it immediately. But times change, people change (Not my boss though. That motherfucker takes the Lady Gaga song, ‘born this way’ waaaay too seriously).

One slice and that was it. I was hooked. From that day on, I ate one slice everyday after dinner. I fell into an endless spiral of depression after I had the last slice. My mom thought I was losing my mind. I was underweight at the time. I tried a different cake but it just wasn’t the same. But soon I forgot about cake. Fast forward a few years. Sister comes home one day with something called a ‘Mousse cake’. It was like instinct. After locking my sibling in the kitchen I went to a corner of the house and ate the whole thing.

I lost my train of thought. How do I end this? How about a neat rhyme from the 90’s?