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Dryness

I think the the guys at Savlon took the name “moisture shield” too literally, because their hand wash soap actually prevents moisture from getting to the hands. I put that thing on, and my hands immediately look 20 years older.To the clean people at Savlon: I love you guys. You guys were the first to put out affordable disinfectant spray cans. But get your act together. My eczema is on your hands. Pun-galore.

Ice

After eating half a tub of ice cream, I ask myself, “did you really need to do that?” It hurts me when my mind answers, “Yes”. Because my mind justifies everything, all the ridiculous decisions it makes. It’s cold in Kolkata now. I don’t hate it. It’s like having the AC on always, but you don’t have to pay for it. Ain’t it wonderful?

The battery trap

Why do I get the feeling that I am going to write this blog forever? It’s nice to have a companion of sorts , just to listen to my thoughts.

Printer ink and laptop batteries. What do they have in common?

  1. They are both overpriced
  2. Buying a knock-off can mess up your machine

I am now a victim of a fake battery. Fake batteries are like fake people. Three ways a fake battery can fuck you in the ass:

  1. It can fry your laptop
  2. It can fry your charger
  3. It might just stop working in a few months

So we end up buying original batteries. Who wins? You? Dell? The Duracell bunny? I believe all of us should approach the idea of buying fake batteries, the same way as lending money to people. Only do it if you are willing to lose it. Randomthoughtbeam out.

Show me the mobile

They are making a show about the rise and fall of Nokia. Why? Because it’s nearly 2022 and they can. There’s a show about everything now. Conan O’Brien has a comedy show that travels around the world. Carl Rock is a New Zealander who used to travel around India busting scammers, but is now banned from entering the country for some reason. BotezLive is two sisters playing chess. woof bark growl follows a Great Dane living it’s life. I love YouTube.

How to be an alpha

The trick is to not overcomplicate things. What you need is a chain saw. Cut your dick off and wave it in public. Showcase it with utmost confidence. The chainsaw aspect of it is very important as it says a lot about your masculinity.

I haven’t left out the women. Infact, I’ve even come up with a new name for you. Woman+alpha= Walpha. Get it? It’s ‘wildfire’ with an Australian accent. How cool is that?

I’m back

I’m back after a year and two months. Back in Kolkata. Did I expect to return? Yes. I can’t leave my headphones behind. That’s plural headphones, like headphonesss. Am I happy about returning? No. It was my only option. So what now? Think. Deeply.

Some things have changed. There are a lot more people selling bananas. I can pickup a banana from literally anywhere. If your’e walking on the street, stretch your hands out. Boom! Banana! There’s a little less traffic. I think it’s partly due to the pandemic, and a bridge being fixed after it collapsed! By the way, remember that rhyme, London bridge is falling down? Yeah. Why?

Oh! here’s something I’ve never seen growing up in little ol Kerala. A fucking kite centre! Absolutely beautiful!

If I had the means, I would give an award to whoever came up with the title for this article:

https://finshots.in/archive/tata-hakuna-matata-and-shitcoins/

and here’s a beautiful song