I got a call from a cousin recently. Its one of those cousins that you know, calls once every three or four months to show that he cares and shit. But this time the conversation went a little differently.
How’s everything? How’s work? How long have you been working there? Are you getting paid well? Do you think that’s good enough for you? Wait… let me tell you this before you even answer. No, that’s not good enough for you. You have to aim higher. Why are you not trying? Say hi to mom .Take care buddy!
I think orphans are lucky in certain ways. I have never been bothered by relatives before but this got me thinking. Besides, dude is a pretty awesome engineer himself. So I didn’t want to let it out the other ear. Obviously, there’s no point in writing all of this crap in a blog because ultimately I am the one who needs to wake up and take decisions. For some reason, I think writing helps.
If I keep doing what I like does that make me some kind of a “non-dreamer”? Do you necessarily have to keep switching jobs frequently until you find the best one? I like to call such people “bullet trains”. They don’t pay attention to the little things because the attention is on the main goal. Granted, I don’t get paid well and I hate everyone at work but hey, I love the job! In fact I am sure that I can do much more with it. I have to admit that it has started to feel a bit like a nice cozy comfort zone but that’s just something I’ll have to deal with.
On a lighter note, I got a new apartment
Internet is faster than the rate at which “bullet trains” switch jobs.
Next door neighbour’s name is Loki
Very rarely do I bump into talkative neighbours
Nothing so far. Woohoo!
Never thought I’d say this but…
I think I miss my roommate
I got the ‘gig’. I did it! I did it! The nerd is in a rock band. All I can say now is shit’s about to go down.
I haven’t played in that many bands but I know the feeling you get when a bus bearing your band’s name comes to pick you up for a show. Yes, I do believe in that ‘band is family’ shit. It’s a mysterious musical-interest-based-bond that refuses to go away even after the band breaks up. Enough gay shit.
After the audition was over the lead singer announced that they would be happy to have me play the drums. So naturally my first instinct was to go over to the mic and announce that I was not gay. But I held it in for a better opportunity. It also gave me a brilliant idea. I could do some stand-up when we play live. That would kill time in between songs. Also, I get to humiliate hecklers.
To quote the great poet Nikki Sixx,
“When we started this band
All we needed, needed was a laugh
Years gone by, I’d say we’ve kicked some ass
When I’m enraged Or hittin’ the stage
Adrenaline rushing Through my veins
And I’d say we’re still kickin’ ass“
Back in school, I never thought about want I wanted to do with my life. I just went with the flow. I liked science and computers. So I studied them. Later on, I decided to focus on electronics. Did not like it very much though. Then came a point where I had to choose between work and study. I chose to study because.. why not? I was extremely lazy and had a rich family. I thought the best thing to do is to use “study” as an excuse and visit another country!
I have always liked music. I am fascinated by sound. So I decided to study it. Apart from studying, I spent most of my time in the student accommodation playing video games and going to the gym.
I rarely went out to visit places or even hang out with my class mates. And guess what? It didn’t feel bad at all. I still don’t regret it. I also learned to cook!
However, I wish I had visited more places. I never knew how much I loved to travel until now.
Now I have a job that I like. But I am worried because I know that I have reached another “comfort zone” in my life. If I don’t wiggle out of this, I might end up being miserable. I know I can do more but it feels so nice to wrap a blanket around myself and just rest peacefully forever while my brain erodes.
I need to be creative. I need to do something new. But how? The path used to be unclear but now it feels like there are obstacles too.
As of now I don’t have anything completely new on my mind. So my best option is to be more creative at the job that I already have! I know it sounds boring but to me, it makes sense. I have to rise from the rubble and try something new. Coming up with a new idea is quite the challenge and requires a lot of hard work. Maybe I have to follow my instincts on this one.
……….and maybe one day the path will reveal itself.
I don’t feel ashamed when people call me a day-dreamer. It is how I keep myself going. My imagination is my best friend. It keeps me company. It fuels my life. Without it, I am nothing.
My stupid boss thinks I zone out all the time. What a looser!
I worked hard to get the job that I have now. Now that I have it, I feel empty. I enjoy my job but lately it has involved a lot of travelling. I leave early in the morning and come back late at night. I don’t talk much with people at work due to language barriers(and I am not much of a talker). Life is starting to suck remarkably. I feel too depressed to go out during weekends. I am forcing myself to go out at least during the weekends. I try to watch a movie or travel. And so the vicious cycle continues: Get a good job- job consumes more time from life-life becomes boring-become less productive at work -start to hate job because of boring life.
However, something good has come out of all this. I’ve started to talk to my mom and sister. I rarely talk to them since moving here. I’ve realised that there’s no shame in revealing SOME of my problems to my family. Earlier, I used to suck it all up because “boys don’t cry” or whatever. However, I have to admit that talking to my sister backfires most of the time. I love my sister but she is completely useless when it comes to cheering people up!
On an unrelated note, this Indian rendition of Sweet Child Of Mine is simply kickass!