Best things I’ve heard this week

Best things I’ve heard this week

A famous comedian, Bobby Lee, when asked about his career, says 

“sometimes I wake up at two in the afternoon and there’s a hole in my fucking heart”. To this, Dave Navarro(a famous guitarist) replies, “Whatever shape that hole is, there’s something on Amazon that will fit perfectly in there”. 


“So this is the world we live in now? That science has to be leaked?”

-Stephen Colbert(referring to a leaked report that says climate change is happening faster than previously thought. The report was made by 15 different federal agencies. It was leaked because there was fear that the present administration would try to suppress it before it was published).


“At night, when you go to lock the front door, and you switch off the lights, if you happen to see a tall, dark figure standing in the corner of the room, staring at you, that’s when you know, you need to start making changes to your lifestyle, starting with the pile of clothes that hasn’t been washed in weeks”.


Best things I’ve heard this week

“Sometimes people put a little salt in their ice cream, you know, or a little bit of ketchup in their lemonade. This is stuff that people do to enhance the different flavours.”

-Conan O’Brien

“An almost indispensable skill for any creative person is the ability to pose the right questions. Creative people identify promising, exciting, and, most important, accessible routes to progress – and eventually formulate the questions correctly.”

-Lisa Randall

“Cactuses have thorns because nature doesn’t give a fuck.”


If anyone wants to correct me by saying, “it’s Cacti, not cactuses”, feel free. I will send you my address. I am ready to fight you. I’ve been training. Wait, I’m sorry, I forgot. I thought this was reddit. The level of rage is so much different there.

Best things I’ve heard this week

“I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.”

– Robin Williams

“Homosexuality is not against the order of nature. It is nature itself”

– Justice Indu Malhotra(not a direct quote)

“The most mysterious entity that I’ve encountered in nature is time itself”

-Curiosity(written under the influence of liquid gold/time juice/beer)

Best things I’ve heard this week

  1. “How come we can put a rover on Mars but I can’t get decent Wi-Fi on a Delta flight?”-Sean Evans
  2. “The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you.”– Neil DeGrasse Tyson
  3. “There’s a reason why you get the best burgers from local fast-food joints and not from big fast-food chains. -Curiosity

I wish I had said the last one during a meeting or something, to prove a point. Hell, I would have got a standing ovation for that. But no, I came up with that while eating a burger. Dammit.

Best things I’ve heard this week

  1. “My life’s mission is to, as an adult, realize all the promises that I made to myself when I was a little kid.”- Casey Neistat
  2. “I don’t want my poems to be taught to students in a system dominated by pitiable teaching standards and liberal valuations whose only aim is to ensure everyone gets good marks.”- Balachandran Chullikkad
  3. “To be an inventor, you have to be willing to live with a sense of uncertainty, to work in this darkness and grope towards an answer, to put up with anxiety about whether there is an answer.”- Ray Dolby 


Best things I’ve heard this week

  1. “Most people who work here are arrogant, unqualified, greedy bastards. Including myself. “- A colleague
  2. “Women who dress like men give birth to transgenders” – professor who holds a doctorate in microbiology. He faces blacklisting by the government(though that does not solve the main problem).
  3. “You have to listen to me very carefully. We don’t have much time. I need you to focus on your posture. If you don’t, it will throw you off balance”- 6 year old nephew teaching me Karate over skype.