I have nothing to do, so might as well throw out a few things that my mother blatantly refuses to believe every time she hears me say

  1. I cooked the greatest meal mankind has ever seen
  2. I don’t have a girlfriend
  3. I was taking a shower when you called
  4. It was the scariest horror movie I’ve ever seen
  5. I am at home
  6. I tried calling you
  7. I know how we are related to the person you are talking about

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