How I met your brother

I don’t know why I wrote that title.

All of a sudden, now there are ‘blocks’ on WordPress. People are trying to fight climate change, and WordPress decided to add ‘blocks’ to their menu. I was thinking to write some relationship advice (being the love machine that I am, I felt like the world needed some encouragement), but nope. Gonna destroy WordPress with a heartfelt fuck-you letter.

Block 3: I imagine the CEO of wordpress to be a woman in her late 40s. Her office is in a library, surrounded by porno mags. She has an ashtray, but there’s juice in the ash tray, and she yells at her assistant for putting juice inside the ashtray, but she says she doesn’t know how the juice got there, and then they all look up and see Spiderman on the ceiling reading a paper, like, an actual thesis on how the black widow spider manufactures lethal juice.

I wish to formally apologise to Google blogs for abandoning them. Nobody read my blog, but it was a pleasure to write on that white screen. My only follower was a truck driver, and she motivated me to write on a daily basis. Then one fine day, big brother WordPress showed up in the form a Youtube advert (ironic) , and before you know it, I was writing motivational posts on WordPress after deleting the Google blog because I was embarrassed about the stuff I wrote on there. And you know what? All of a sudden, the title makes sense now. I’ve gone full circle with this one.

2 comments

  1. Lol. Google has blogs too? I think I heard that but I love wp despite its quirks and sometimes having issues with it. Its just such a nice community on here. People are so supportive. xxxx

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    1. Yup, they have blogs. I think it’s called Blogger. I totally agree about the wonderful people on WordPress. For instance, there are people who read the absurdity written in posts like the one above, and are able to understand that these are just jokes, and are not meant to cause any offence. I don’t actually believe that the CEO of WordPress works in a library, covered in porno mags. That’s just stupid. She probably lives a normal life, somewhere in the concrete jungle, typing away, occassionally whipping her slaves for amusement.

      Like

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