Today I realized I can move my balls. I am glad I discovered this before I turned 30. The story of how I discovered this unique skill is very captivating, but I will not reveal it here. Instead, I will personally write to whoever comments on this post. Live your life free.
Update: I am not going to write to anyone personally. That’s grose. I would instead send them nudes.
Further update: No one has commented as of yet. This brings both joy and sorrow to my heart. People are evolving. No one wants to hear about my balls.