Its back. Fucking social-phobia is back in full swing. Everything was going fine. I was making friends. I was getting better at ‘small-talk’. I was mastering the art of socializing. But now, I’ve lost everything. I’ve been trying to find out what caused the sudden change. I ‘ve narrowed it down to two possible causes:
- Trip to visit family
- I got dumped
The trip back home sent me back to my comfort zone. I didn’t have to interact with strangers for one whole week. One week of harmless, friendly, familiar faces has unfortunately done a lot of damage.
And then I got dumped. In her defence, she was right about a lot of things! Anyways… it happened and I’m dealing with it. Fortunately, I now have an old guitar and a long beard to suit my current situation. To make matters worse, things are not looking good at work and my phobias have peaked. The moment I enter my apartment building, I find myself running to my apartment for fear of bumping into neighbours along the way. I had two panic attacks during the flight back from home. I couldn’t do anything else but play this track on repeat:
What I am trying to say is… life is not great at the moment but I do have my own ways of dealing with this sort of thing. Here are a few:
- I find the weirdest things to be uplifting. This animated short by the dudes at Dolby makes me happy(headphones recommended):
2. This amazing blog
http://nolightwithoutdarkness.com/2017/12/27/how-im-coping-with-social-anxiety/
3. This awesome person
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikola_Tesla
4. This exciting place
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acharya_Jagadish_Chandra_Bose_Indian_Botanic_Garden
Random Thought Beam 