First try

Yesterday, while jamming with the band I got up from the throne(kudos to the person who named the drum-seat), walked up to the mic and announced that I was not gay. Suddenly everything stopped. People stopped talking to each other, the music stopped playing, (oh I almost forgot) the clock stopped ticking. Then a girl burst out laughing. In my mind I went, “Woohoo! This is my calling. Stand-up comedy, here I come”.