I don’t fit in

I don’t fit it in anywhere. Literally. Not even in a shared cab :-). Everyone’s fine all crammed in until I try to fit in. They have that feeling of disgust on their face like I just sat on their face. You know what the worst part is? I have an average size body! I am not even that tall. Maybe its the way I sit I guess!.

I don’t fit in at work. Sure, I have some good friends there but when it comes to working together with someone, I suck. I either tend to be too nice, making others feel too comfortable and take advantage of me or I become too aggressive and end up making a fool of myself (either way, it usually ends up with me getting very aggressive). So the “team player” part of my resume is a blatant lie :-).

I don’t fit in with friend groups. I’ve noticed that whenever I get introduced to a group of friends, there’s someone who immediately hates me for some reason. The others lose interest slowly. Eventually, the person who introduced me regrets doing it.

I don’t fit in with a band. I get the chance to play because I kinda play well. All the jamming sessions go very well but when it comes to hanging out with the band, I again get left out.

I don’t fit in with my family. What can I say? Its like mom, sis and I actually like to argue with each other. We are better off texting each other. I like having the extended family over for parties. We have a little fun but eventually I get left out there too. Its a little weird when the host gets left out!

I don’t fit in AT ALL in relationships :-). I don’t think this one needs much explanation.

I know its no one’s fault but mine. On the bright side, I think I would be a perfect candidate for a one-way trip to outer space. Solo mission only please!

Advertisements

4 comments

  1. I sometimes, often maybe, feel this way. I have to remind myself that it actually isn’t just me. If you see the world differently and don’t fit in, well, think about what must be forgone to fit in. Conformity, self-denial, unreasonable agreement. Loneliness is painful. I find that a lot of times I don’t fit in because I am not accepting of the hidden frailty and pain of others, and don’t look to find common ground there. Maybe you’ll never fit in, but hopefully you can make that a less lonely place.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A lot of the time, even I feel the same. Being a nerd who talks about intellectual stuff most of the time, it’s really hard to feel that ‘connection’ with a lot of people.
    And if I don’t get out of that ‘thinking’ state and partake in normal conversation, more often than not the people just leave me out of their ‘social spheres’ after meeting me and partly getting to know me. Pretty hard to explain, but you probably get it.

    My family tells me I tend to find depth in things; it also applies to all my relationships. If someone’s not in for that (most teenagers aren’t like that, unlike me) then they have a hard time understanding me and leave me out of stuff.

    Then there are people who outright hate nerds (kaun padhega yeh science?) Their case is totally different, though.

    What I understand is that if I don’t fit in with the ‘normal’ people, maybe I should seek out for those who have similar interests as mine. It’s hard to find people of my age who fulfil that criterion, but many hours I have used up doing exactly that. So far, I’ve gained acceptance from two people.

    Maybe it’s hard to fit in, but it sure isn’t harder than finding people who accept you as you are, no matter how you fit into the society.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s